Across the void

To my Beloved ,
i hope you know now that my feelings towards you are true and sincere..
I wait each night for your eyes to close before i go to sleep..
Each week i see you .. Each day i long for you..
to see past the wavy curtains of gold and bronze threads..
through the hazel windows..
into a surrealistic world...
one that most people would never get to see ...
i can't help but smile ...
i can't help but savour the moment, enjoying every breath you take...
take care my fair lady from across the void...
live on ...
breathe on...
fear not the darkness... fear not the monsters...
do not fear anything from across the void...
for i shall soon follow after you..
in your exact footsteps...
along side you...
guiding you ..
protecting you...
do not fear...
do not worry..

For i will be there

electrolysis

strongly bonded you and i ...
remaining as one even under intense heat and pressure..
yet when drowning in a vapour dish,
the water crowd comes between us...
creating spaces between us ..
we are free yet still long to be with one another...
charges flow throgh our aqueous medium..
we get drawn further and further apart from one another ..
oxidised and reduced ..
reduced and oxidised...
you get discharged from our mixture as a greenish -yellow mixture
, yet i am still stuck here ..
waiting on the time to be re- bonde with you once again

adrenaline

this is not the usual fight or flight reponse
this is way better then that.

you first see her ,
your face lights up ..
an involuntary smile washes the nonchalant gloom from your melanchlonic facade
ah

her eyes..
when you look into them
your heart skips a few beats
you hold your breath
and it is unlike the most beautiful mountain scenery in the world

your own eyes dilate,
to absorb every single detail of her flawless bodice
your breaths quicken,
to absorb even the most minute of her passion fruit shampoo
you hands are numb
you no longer feel as if you were standing ,
more like floating...

every word she says echoes through your head

you do not want to be in love with any one ..
this is no longer love
you want to be her
you want people to look at you the way you look at her

you are suddenly unaware of any movement around you..except for hers
every word that might have been screamed ... except for her whispers
every moment in time except for when you are with her..

that is my drug
that is what keeps my going through the toughest of all days
to protect her..
that is all that i want...
and i will stop at nothing to get...

knowledge

unlike the half bitten apple that caused us to leave eden,
i believe knowledge is not entirely evil.
i believe there is good in it
i believe knowledge is power,
and it is the misuse and abuse of such power that creates the evil.

knowledge ..
without which we would be no better than beast ..
in it we learn to respect one another..
in it we befriend one another..
thrust one another
love one another

psalm 23

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

quotes

To see the world in a grain of sand,
and to see heaven in a wild flower,
hold infinity in the palm of your hands,
and eternity in an hour.
- william blake


Any emotion if it is sincere,
is involuntary.
- Mark Twain

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

-Ghandi


Half a truth is often a great lie.
- Benjamin Franklin

I destroy my enemies
when i make them my friends.
-Abraham lincoln


What lies behind us and what lies before us
are tiny matters compared to what lies within us
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

A Leader's Journal

Date: 4th september

Duty:Foxtrot division7 , to maintain defence till villagers can be safely evacuated.

Manpower allocation: SSGT Ivan- KIA
SGT Kean- Medic - KIA
SGT Johnny - tactics and weapons support- KIA
SGT Eric-Machine gunner and communications
CPL Sean - medic's assistant
CPL Xavier - Food and Logistics
CPL Marshall- infantry
CPL David - infantry- KIA
CPL Leon - infantry- (incapacitated)
REC Sherman -infantry-KIA
REC Nathan - infantry


Dawn once again the sun rises..
and along with it comes the first volley of enemy projectiles ..
My men are restless... Our food supplies have been compromised by a hostile grenade..

Three more days.. our remaining food supplies would not last that long ..
We are to defend this checkpoint until we die or starve to death , depending on which comes first.

This was not what we had expected. Our checkpoint was to be the safest amongst the divisions..
It was suppossed to be an almost idling mission.
- guess our superior made another mess-up...

with only 5 men left , it seems impossible to hold out the defence.

( low mummerings erupt into a scream)

WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING HERE ?-CPL Xavier

WE are definitely going to DIE... if you do not care for your life , i do and i have a family !

Shut up Xavier ... theres no retreat ... no surrender ... either victory or a glorious death!
- REC Nathan

Son we're all in this together..
we have defended this hill for thus long already ..
lets finish this job ...
we fight for our homes , our land , our families..
you want to run now?
run to whom?
if we do not defend our post , there would be no family for you to run home to..

(complete silence)

(Rattling of Eric machine gun)

my interests

diamond and earphones...
my expertise and interests
one is but the hardest and most brilliant looking gemstone
judged by scrutinizing eyes for its colour, cut , size , and colour
the other is but the nicest fahion accessory ,producing low bass and high trebles...
expressive with its mid-range and loud enough to deaf a person and strong enough to block out the sound of a riot.


ahhh but i am interested in something new now....

more brilliant than the diamond ...
more melodious than the best of earphones...
ahhhh.... perfection and all that is ... her...

6949

6949.....
oh the numbers of the acronyms...
to be naturally wonderful, heaven-sent yard-stick..
of whom i measure myself with....
whom is my target
whom is but a dream of mine...
i will one day catch-up ...
just you wait and see...
6949...
see you soon...
onli you would know...

deal!

i promise myself now ....
i am betting my life for all of my desires and wishes..
i am betting .. wishing...
do well or die trying ...

oh i have a bad feeling about this..

eagerness

eagerness

ready to pounce....

no ...
keep your cool..
this is not up to you...
you mess this up , i'll mess you up...

you put on your masks....
creeping slowly....

keep your composure..
don't slouch...

there she is...

Rise

wave ..
stop smiling you fool..!
don't give yourself away....

ahhh....
fresh blood ....
ahhh...
the world dissapears behind her..
ahhh.....
adrenaline floods your head...
your pupils dilate...
your heart pumps at twice its speed
ahh...
the heightened sense of it all

chained by your education and nature
the beast inside you gnawls fruitlessly at what binds him
clawing the inside your gut...

yet your smile never falls ..
never fades

the torture.....
the pleasure...
ahh...

just like a battery

like the poles of a battery
your scent and face would drive me
a wave of emotions sweep over me.
flowing on with the rest of the Es
moving fast through the conductors...
you help me get along even in times of insulators and resistors
just like a battery
keeping me warm ..
lighting me up..
making me move
you are the charge of my life ...
thus i move only for you...
just like a battery..

Run ! away from her

she is a demon
rolling of her elongated fangs, blood of her kills
she charges mindlessly at anyone...
leader of the hordes of undead ...
"run now my love .....there will be a day by which we will meet"

" NEVER!.... you are nothing but a sex- crazed maniac ...
get away from me " - i screamed as i took your hand and ran....

run .. faster .. longer ....

a sinister laughter ripped through the air behind us....
no ....

i will not lose you too.....the virus will not infect you too...

looking you dead in the eye , i think to myself ...
who am i fighting against ?

HER! ofcourse...

no... i am but fighting with myself ....
i am .....

no ... this one is different she is my cure as i am hers'
i promise ... this one is different .. unlike anything i've ever encountered

she is my glass as i am her wine...

as we ran ...
thoughts were fired within my head ...
we are ...

faster .. stronger.. smarter...

we will beat this ...
warmth fills me from within..
her smile .. so beautiful in the rising morning sun

this is where i belong .. for us...
for eternity

a typical day - racing on...

this world oh so cold ...
i need to feel you on my skin..
this world oh so dark..
take my hand and guide me to heaven ....
lungs burning ...
need air ...
breathing down each others' necks
..
you , me , the whole world ....
racing on wards
....
fire freezes, cold as the flames of ice
like tantacles ....
gnawings is way towards us...

parry...
stab...
slash...

backed up against the wall
retreating...

help us would you not?

anxious waiting...
just as my scatterred thoughts...
who'll be there ?

25 minutes

After some time I´ve
finally made up my mind
she is the girl and I really want to make her mine
I´m searching everywhere to find her again
to tell her I love her
and I´m sorry ´bout the things I´ve done
I find her standing in
front of the church
the only place in town where I didn´t search
She looks so happy in her white and blue dress
but she´s crying while she´s saying this

Boy I´ve missed your kisses all the time but this is
25 minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I´m sorry your are
25 minutes too late

Against the wind I´m going home again
wishing me back to the time when we were more than friends
But still I see her in
front of the church
the only place in town where I didn´t search
She looked so happy in her white and blue dress
but she's crying while she was saying this

Boy I´ve missed your kisses all the time but this is
25 minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I´m sorry your are
25 minutes too late
Out in the streets
places where hungry hearts have nothing to eat
inside my head
still I can hear the words she said

Boy I´ve missed your kisses all the time but this is
25 minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I´m sorry your are
25 minutes too late
I can still hear her
say.......

dark figures

oh the darkness
over whelming darkness...
the misery .. the pain...
can you see it the way i do ..
liveless corpses doing what they must ...
to feed ... to make more of themselves...
robots....
cruelty floods the sky above us while jealousy plagues our drinking waters ...
where are the makers?
those of whom gave us life ..
those of whom gave us faith
those of whom told us to wait?

lies ? how can i doubt the makers?
how can i doubt the facts ...

where was the prophecised love ..
she of whom would rid me of my pain...
she of whom would add colour to this world..
she of whom would influence me in ways noone else can..

pain ..

darkness overwhelms me again ...

i turn around ..
what is that?,
i ask ..

bright light unlike any i've seen before ..
i look back at my gloom and darkening world...
it is merely my shadow now ...
darkening only because the light is appraching me..
ohh so bright
ohh so bright