the one that got away ..

It is all so clear to the warrior now as he watch his beloved run away
With his most prized possessions ... the warrior is torn between blind rage
Seeking revenge , the blood lust that would soon consume him to killed the
One he once loved ... and the feelings of blind love whose forgiveness would over
Power his sense of logic and call on him to sacrifice all for a traitor .. a beautiful traitor ...
But now he sees clearly what he must do .. love is an infection .. a self proclaimed righteous and all powerful
Emotion .. a parasite of which the warrior must excise from his heart ...
It shall be his weakness no longer ...
He must seek out the blue flame of hope .. one that would extinguish the rage within him
Should he succeed he would be granted the greatest prize of all .. serenity ...
But should he fail he would be doomed to remain in this state of purgatory torn between
Opposing emotions ...condemned to a life of inaction ...
This pain is harsh .... may it fade off over time as we become numb and immune to it ..

The situation is dire.....

As we prepare for the inevitable war that lies before us , what troubles me the most ...
More then anything else at the moment is the civil unrest from within...
As our armies prepare for the incoming waves of brutes n madness .. We find ourselves pit against each other ... More time spent on resolving internal affairs .. Less time on preparation for the war ....
Situation is dire ... As we look forward to our remunerations I find myself helpless ..
Worse still even compared to the the past wars that I've fought in ... This is different .. How does one fight ones own self?
The situation is dire ... If this goes on I fear the toll on my best fighters would drive them insane ....
Today there were two executions ... One of them was a friend of mine ...the war is coming ... Would be remain here ?
Vulnerable to their savage attacks? In capable of retaliating due to our unresolved "matters of the heart " ...
The system of governance is failing ... And I am helpless in solving these domestic issues ... I am a fighter not a counsellor ..
Thought there seems to be a higher demand for counsellors now .. The situation is dire ....
As much as it pains me to say this .... We , the orpine defenders of the fort ...
We need help...

As we face the inevitable

The time of honor has passed
The trials that lie before us are no mean feats....
I feel my will stretched and strained .... My fear for the unknown ....my apprehension for the known....
Time passes before me ever so quickly .... I feel my soul distancing itself from my body ...
As I relive the joys of youths through my subordinates as I wonder aimlessly .. Desperately wishing for some sort of guidance
The light I brought into this valley of the shadow of death has faded into the blackness
Evil is every where ..
The angel of darkness will arrive ....
The apocalypse will come , soon ... We hope...
The dread of routine is exhausting ...
My body is decaying. ... Flesh rotting before it is separated from bone...
My one true love is at the end of this dreary road .. For her I shall press on ... For her it all makes sense .. For her I will do ...
Anything.....

T

The loneliness fades as the sun rises over the northern borderlands...
I think I've found someone new ... Someone to fill the gap ...
My sincere apologies to the past contenders you just didn't have what it took..
This time is different ... This time it'll last .. Memories of my past flash before bespectacled eyes ...
My guilt questions my every move ... Sin lurks at every corner of every alley threatening to swallow me whole ...
Should love from above be the only thing to save me from me demons down below ....
The referees pistol fires , the pendulum has been set into motion ... The record has been broken ...
But even as such , I still see Lilith , she. Tempts me , and lures me ... I am helpless ...
I am tormented by pleasures of the flesh ..
As it peels away at my soul ... As I sink into the septa of disparity ....
She will always have me ...
And on the day I draw my last Breath, for her I shalll fight on. ....

by the wheel , our fates entwine

A realisation ....
The mirage of love so close it warms the heart ...
All my years cursing this emotion and sickening it to
An abomination of lust and confusion ...
All this shattered the day I saw her ..
Unlike any I had ever seen before , her midnight hair
Flutters in the morning sea breeze ...
She is different ..... unlike the others who force me into battle with lilith herself,
I find myself at peace .. at ease ...
I start to learn to open up to her and pour out my skeletons in the closet
My darkest of past .. yet she remains unafraid ... and helps me through my beaten path
Her hazel tan skin glistening in the mid afternoon heat ... she is beautiful indeed
My hatred towards the world falls ... my defences collapse ... I finf myself longing for more - of her
A sudden enthusiasm to learn more about her life , and for once it seems genuine , even to me
Her voice like evening bells chiming in the cool moon breeze ... the lord and his angels
Agree , she was the one destined for me ...
And as I close my eyes tonight ... my dreams would be filled with thoughts of her and the times we share
till tomorrow's dawn my love ... until the sun breaks over the horizon and we shall be together once more

Love, at war

the myriad of colours has lost its shine ..
all but a murky brown remains...
ever lurking an ever growing ..
the more they fight the stronger it gros..
like an infection it takes control of the warriors mind..
derails him from his task at hand.
his sword in hand feels heavier then ever before.
the darkness looms overhead ..
the infected act not by their own will but by the will of a greater power..
like pawns on a chess piece .. they march blindly ahead ...
the last man stand upon a pile of corpses that once was his brethren ...
brothers in arms ..fell one by one to temptation..
now it is his time to lay down arms and surrender...
for he has found the treasure they all speak of ..
the most renowned , most powerful emotion of them all
he removes his armour and charges towards what he knows to be certain death....
still he must go on ..
his body tells him to stop as does his mind .. but his heart just wont allow that ..
not now...
blessed be his footsteps as he faces his demons .. may he not be distracted from his battles ..
may the knight not fall under the spell of the mooon and may he survive this impending doom..
so the witches say .. so mote it be ....

so mote it be

the darkness expandable .. but I see more then just empty
Darkness in the void .. I see being and spirits of yester years
The jester dead in his rotting gold costume ...
The cards that speak to me and show me to way ...
The divinity surrounds my physical being
The board shall guide me to the truth
Each time I cast I bind my love .. I find myself bound more tightly to her
She of wavy hair and broad smile , the lovers seem to touch on the card itself
The devil bound me by thine chains
But death shalt be fast and swift
The fool over his cliff of doom
And temperance in disarray
The suites make battle
And fate will call
The red strings that pull us all
Deeper and deeper the pentacles guide
As smoke and salt shall smite thy goal
So this spell I giveth to thee to bless thee and make you mine
By the moon the day I cast
Guardians and spirits all amassed
May my spell tale effect on her
Three times as good three times sa bad
So mote it be ....

witheld

Shadows creep in from blackout curtains ...
A raven screeched , circling high above ...
Impatient cultist chanting spells ..
The light of the pure ones dim in the shadows ..
Arrow headache blackened with blood ..
The shroud engulf , the shroud consumes ..
Major arcana cards circling the tarot ...
The tenth swords standing face up on the deck .. defeat
Darkened crimson leak from rotting concise the last survivor hides .. fear
There is no light ... there is no hope ..
The inevitable is upon him..
The card of death flutter into his Window and lands before his feet
His tower will crumble ...
His last stand will be futile ..
Death is not a sick sense of humour ..
A glimpse of the future as the fiery clouds strike down all the non worshippers ..
And himself torn limb from limb .. flesh from bone ..
Pain and hopelessness...
He stands ready to fight ..
Ready to ... die

posers

I have smeared my honour ..
As the golden crown that is my dignity was tarnished that day
I realised nothing was ever to be the same ..
I bled myself and the would cuts deep ...
The honour to call you my brothers ... I have lost ..
The fight with the demons within .. I have lost ..
Given in to temptations ... given in to what I knew was wrong
The horrors I battle in my head each day ...
Your meager earth bound problems mean nothing ...
Your little cries and pleas for good luck ..
What is luck but not a figment of imagination
The truth is our honour was never ours alone ..
It never has been ...
It instead has always been the belonging of those who loved us..
And I foolishly corrupted it ...
Like a blinded general not listening to his troops and charging straight into
Certain death ....
No more voices call out to me .. I am all alone ..
The world start caving in .. and I am at the eye of the vortex
All alone ... all broken...
You write fantasies of a dark post apocalyptic world you do not know or understand
So go ahead and lead your stupid barbie doll lives .. and conform to the communistic regime
For you romanticised the worst feeling of all ..
Helplessness...
A feeling that hangs heavily on my shoulders ..
The truth is hidden within the lines... and you will never see me in the same light again ...

to recite as the coffin closes

A mistake ...
Our namesake ..
The future seems to be ripped away at the very fabric of an emotion gone astray
Taken by surprise
As I open pandora's box ..
Peeking to see It's treasures ,
Needless to say the darkness over took me and I could not shut it in time ..
The ailments rampaged my body
as I was forced to pay literally and metaphorically
For my sins ...
It seemed so wrong and I knew it ...
She was so corrupt and I knew it ...
Like the emotional tilt one experiences after a bad beat in poker
I walked as a soulless body ... I knew not of reason but only of purpose ..
My purpose from that day on changed ...
As an inferno flame burns hay ... the events were irreversible ....
The life I knew had changed ... the truth I thought had escaped me ...
5 times over 10 times to go .. or I shall take my sins and shame to the grave
No one need know .. no one needs to bear my burden ...
So each day as I strive forward I race towards my grave .. but I will die knowing
I lived a good life .. I fought the good fight ...
Pray for me ... as I turn to god in my darkest hours ...
The one thing I regretted in this life thus far ...
"In order to banish lust from oneself ... one must hate it as much as god does "
Pray for me my brothers
Pray for me my friends ....
Keep my secret ...
To the grave may it be told ......

the inevitable must not be prevented

Clouds of turmoil the swirl above me ..
The air choked of the thousands of rotting souls..
The days of glory ended ..
War broke out and missiles flew .. and as the drew
Across the once blue sky .. the earth beneath it died away ..
No one on the ground survived the apocalypse ...
A band of brothers took to the skies .. immortal angels who soon took flight
Lift off the toxic earth and cower the skies in an airship soo high above
Flintlock pistols and naval canons ... white sails on helium balloons ...
Floating above the carcass which once were our lands
Wait the captain stirs as he descends his ship through the crowd
A mysterious movement so fast and agile ... he looks through his crack looking glass
A black raven circling beneath him .....
He descends lower and lower
Little did he know this would be the last he would see of his ship ever again .

someone out there for me .

It's in the middle of the night
People running , trying to fight ...
No words can express .. the feeling of losing deep down inside
I feel that no one understands me .. I watch as time swing before me
I almost breakdown and cry .....
I perch alone on this darkwood tree .. falcon of the dark
All the lands below me look up and know they fear me ...
Buy I feel so lonely and cold inside ....
I wait awhile obsessed with the blood lust ... I cannot find I cannot fight
.. so as the moons pass above me and the critters they call out to me .
They can't seem to understand how I bleed out inside ..
So I wait until my talons give way for the raven to come save my life
A bird of prey .. another one just like me .. if you're out there please hear my cries
Oh no ....
And then the blood lust it eats and comrades me ... I fall from so waay up high ..
As the shattered heart begins to heal all the bones in the flesh are no longer real
And the fog lifts .. I was just wasting my time ...

another one bites the dust

take a look around
see the tortured faces and torched places...
see them cry hear them shout..
pull the trigger set the fires..
loot the poor
feast on a poor man's last dime..
sins of the past will reclaim you..
the hate you harbor consumes you..
scorching sunlight..
forcing you to hide..
hear the new light..
see the clear moonlight..
as the fangs show
you shall bleed too.
you shall give your only life to never die...
you steal the souls for you have none
crusifixes
shy your eyes...
stench of the garlic fumes your nose..
pale white skin so cold it burns in sunlight
the day is lost, the night is yours..
a new life..
a new death..
hope is once again reborned..
no life after..
no picture perfect honeymoons..
across the darkness. the sea of doom
the one who betrayed us shall not elude..
forces stronger
we will rise again..the world is yours now..
fight now..
brothers.....................

He lay alone in the chilly solitary of which bounds his freedom
he reminisce the night of the four moons..
where this had all begun..
it was probably daylight by now.. he could feel the walls of his cell beginning to warm up..
his solitude was dark and damp.. there had been no other source of light except from a stray glimmer of flickering amber that seeped through a tiny crack in the walls.. it was using this ray that he was able to seperate his sleeping quarters from where he ate or defecated..
days seemed to pass like months.. his idle mind was on the brink of snapping..
a faint whisper..
click*
the door slides open...
a sudden rush of light momentarily blinded him..
he is escorted by women out of his cell into a narrow alley way..
his shoulder he now notices bore a distinct bite mark unlike any creature he had encountered before, and it emitted a faint blue hue under the scorching sun light that lit up e path through intricately designed window..
" odprte " one of them whispered..
and the large rock wall infront of them rolled ajar.
as they made their way onwards, he asks who his liberators were but each attempt seemed to yield no understandable response.
...
after hours of travelling, he approached what seemed to be a courtroom..
as he stepped forward , millions of questions popped in his head all at once..
and then he saw her.. all other questions seemed unimportant as he walked towards her , flabbergasted.

The traveller.. part1

the nights grow weary on a this desolate plateau
the way is lost and so is the traveller's mind..
he searches onwards with caution controlling each step of his..
a full moon tonight...
he looks up to see pale blue rays piercing the otherwise pitch black canopy..
a step..
he looks around ..
searching desperately to see who or what else would be sharing this lonely night brisk walk with him..
a woman..
skin of ivory hue, threading effortlessly towards our traveller.
he holds up his double barrelled shot gun and demands identification..
it is at this point she looks at his..
moonstruck eyes glistening as it reflect a faint stray glitter from a tiny fading star...
she rushes to him
throws down his weapon..
and for once he let's his guard down.
her lips so sweet it seemed stain with cherries..
like polished ebony her eyes glare into his...
as she whispers " are you afraid of me?"
"oh no.. i am many things" said the traveller " but not afraid... no fear of death.. and certainly .. no fear for you"
"then take me now.."......
she holds him closer
their kissing have since become more intense.
the traveller forgets himself.. who he was...
as they lay to the soft earth...
soft cries as if the forest herself had been watching the couple..
now as his vision blurs out.. he falls into a deep sleep...

<< to be continued>>

may this be my last regret..

as i dash veridian across an empty sheet of papyrus ,
i reminisce a faint memory.
i remember my friends of whom sat beside me as we rapped along to the song remember the name
clear blue skies or tinted overcast, i remember that it had indeed been the best days of my life.
now as the days flash before me turning into weeks and months like the flip of a page of an old vatican diary.
i dream each night of the times when we were masters of our life.. no bonds .. no tight schedule..just a limitless bus card and wishful thinking..both of which are items of the past..
the days are short..
yet i can see no end to this purgatory...
drop by drop as it slips away ...
no longer vivid.. no longer real...
like a spiral , webs of memories are sucked into small glass capsules..
achievements quantified by pieces of paper..
now as competition reaches breaking point..
the new team advance on unconquered territory with their rifles pointed ahead and their pistols to the temple of the guy next to you.
the piece of paper now filled with colour ages from within..
and begins to crack..
a spill of alcohol and a concentrated beam of warm afternoon sun..
all the foundation and colour turn an awkward shade of umber...
what i will miss when this is all over...

lost
alone in solitude
nothing to do....
a grey-ing effect on the life i have been leading for the past week
one thing remains constant.
i have been a parasite..
i have been of no use to myself or the block
i watch as my body shrivels away in waste
i look on...
a tight grip about my throat....
what lifesaver is he , if he cannot even save his own life...
i turn around...
this world is becoming more and more cloudy...
more and more hazy
the world i live in is warping
i can no longer stand by and watch
something must be done..
and as i surge forward, the metal chain that is my body restrict me
i am helpless..
devour me.....

brothers, i miss you.

is this betrayal?
every morning i dawn a shade of umber, and think to myself...
what have i become?
where are my brothers?
why have we deserted them?
a wave of disappointment washes over my soul-less being.
what ever happened ?
our beliefs so strong .
our hopes so high.
what ever happened my brothers?
why have we disbanded
such selfish reasons i have to have left you all.
every word i speak , every slang i use.
i do so with anger
angry at the fact that i no longer possess the equivalent control over my command of
words. but instead, have been relegated to illustrate ideas using broad and generic terminology.
my brothers, them whom i have trained with.
them whom i have led with.
i miss you all.
frustrated as i may be at the fact that i have chosen to left you for mere aesthetic features of a hollow walls and glass ceilings.
how shallow i must be, to have been unable to look past these and see exactly how meaningless life is.
i still find my sense of belonging and rooted-ness to my alma mater , and yet sense no connection between myself and where i go.
brothers, i miss you.

solitary hopes , unified dreams

my private realm of silence
a place of my own
i drape the windows of agony a deep vermilion hue
and colour the floors of anguish with bright yellow
i imagine world of peace and sanctuary
a lonely, peaceful world.
a place i can be myself in
no shame
no inglory
no more of being looked down upon or despised
i believe in a world that is just and fair
whereby everyone would live in equality and in happiness
cohesion and unifications
an amalgamation of all my deepest thoughts and hopes of feelings
i set up alternatives to search to look to wonder about
how my life was meant to be like
and how it fitted into the grand scheme of things
a whirlpool of thoughts engulf me
and within it
i gasp a breath of fresh sulphur
the demon vanquished
the world saved
then again i realise its just me.

i realise how insecure my pedestel has always been, and crouch away into the dark side.

i cry a river of crimson larva,
my heart it shatters.
the world son fragile how superficial.
nothing goes further then the occasional hello.
the strength of unity of brotherhood .
where has it gone.
my brothers you have my backing, for i will support you in all you do.
my fellow friends, what have we become , but just a mere smudge upon the wall of existence
i turn towards my reflection clear beads of tears rolling down my cheeks.
so beautiful so colorful
yet with the slightest touch, it shatters beyond hope of repair.
where is the line that which we must draw?
our boundaries.
i can no longer see wrong from right.
the blood drain it causes poor decision making.
in hampered sanity, i limp forward.
the noun "i" used solely to depict the fact that which the superficiality pains me to the extent that which i can no longer consider us using a collective adjective.
alone
alone

as they once suggested .ALL these frail twine supports cannot ever be considered in conparison to one single steel cable