It, which makes us human. makes us vulnerable. steel your soul before it is stolen.

the one that got away ..

2011-12-06T08:51:00.000-08:00

It is all so clear to the warrior now as he watch his beloved run away
With his most prized possessions ... the warrior is torn between blind rage
Seeking revenge , the blood lust that would soon consume him to killed the
One he once loved ... and the feelings of blind love whose forgiveness would over
Power his sense of logic and call on him to sacrifice all for a traitor .. a beautiful traitor ...
But now he sees clearly what he must do .. love is an infection .. a self proclaimed righteous and all powerful
Emotion .. a parasite of which the warrior must excise from his heart ...
It shall be his weakness no longer ...
He must seek out the blue flame of hope .. one that would extinguish the rage within him
Should he succeed he would be granted the greatest prize of all .. serenity ...
But should he fail he would be doomed to remain in this state of purgatory torn between
Opposing emotions ...condemned to a life of inaction ...
This pain is harsh .... may it fade off over time as we become numb and immune to it ..

The situation is dire.....

2011-09-16T07:04:00.000-07:00

As we prepare for the inevitable war that lies before us , what troubles me the most ...
More then anything else at the moment is the civil unrest from within...
As our armies prepare for the incoming waves of brutes n madness .. We find ourselves pit against each other ... More time spent on resolving internal affairs .. Less time on preparation for the war ....
Situation is dire ... As we look forward to our remunerations I find myself helpless ..
Worse still even compared to the the past wars that I've fought in ... This is different .. How does one fight ones own self?
The situation is dire ... If this goes on I fear the toll on my best fighters would drive them insane ....
Today there were two executions ... One of them was a friend of mine ...the war is coming ... Would be remain here ?
Vulnerable to their savage attacks? In capable of retaliating due to our unresolved "matters of the heart " ...
The system of governance is failing ... And I am helpless in solving these domestic issues ... I am a fighter not a counsellor ..
Thought there seems to be a higher demand for counsellors now .. The situation is dire ....
As much as it pains me to say this .... We , the orpine defenders of the fort ...
We need help...

As we face the inevitable

2011-06-23T09:56:00.000-07:00

The time of honor has passed
The trials that lie before us are no mean feats....
I feel my will stretched and strained .... My fear for the unknown ....my apprehension for the known....
Time passes before me ever so quickly .... I feel my soul distancing itself from my body ...
As I relive the joys of youths through my subordinates as I wonder aimlessly .. Desperately wishing for some sort of guidance
The light I brought into this valley of the shadow of death has faded into the blackness
Evil is every where ..
The angel of darkness will arrive ....
The apocalypse will come , soon ... We hope...
The dread of routine is exhausting ...
My body is decaying. ... Flesh rotting before it is separated from bone...
My one true love is at the end of this dreary road .. For her I shall press on ... For her it all makes sense .. For her I will do ...
Anything.....

T

2011-05-03T02:24:00.000-07:00

The loneliness fades as the sun rises over the northern borderlands...
I think I've found someone new ... Someone to fill the gap ...
My sincere apologies to the past contenders you just didn't have what it took..
This time is different ... This time it'll last .. Memories of my past flash before bespectacled eyes ...
My guilt questions my every move ... Sin lurks at every corner of every alley threatening to swallow me whole ...
Should love from above be the only thing to save me from me demons down below ....
The referees pistol fires , the pendulum has been set into motion ... The record has been broken ...
But even as such , I still see Lilith , she. Tempts me , and lures me ... I am helpless ...
I am tormented by pleasures of the flesh ..
As it peels away at my soul ... As I sink into the septa of disparity ....
She will always have me ...
And on the day I draw my last Breath, for her I shalll fight on. ....

by the wheel , our fates entwine

2011-03-19T09:11:00.000-07:00

A realisation ....
The mirage of love so close it warms the heart ...
All my years cursing this emotion and sickening it to
An abomination of lust and confusion ...
All this shattered the day I saw her ..
Unlike any I had ever seen before , her midnight hair
Flutters in the morning sea breeze ...
She is different ..... unlike the others who force me into battle with lilith herself,
I find myself at peace .. at ease ...
I start to learn to open up to her and pour out my skeletons in the closet
My darkest of past .. yet she remains unafraid ... and helps me through my beaten path
Her hazel tan skin glistening in the mid afternoon heat ... she is beautiful indeed
My hatred towards the world falls ... my defences collapse ... I finf myself longing for more - of her
A sudden enthusiasm to learn more about her life , and for once it seems genuine , even to me
Her voice like evening bells chiming in the cool moon breeze ... the lord and his angels
Agree , she was the one destined for me ...
And as I close my eyes tonight ... my dreams would be filled with thoughts of her and the times we share
till tomorrow's dawn my love ... until the sun breaks over the horizon and we shall be together once more

Love, at war

2011-02-04T07:31:00.000-08:00

the myriad of colours has lost its shine ..
all but a murky brown remains...
ever lurking an ever growing ..
the more they fight the stronger it gros..
like an infection it takes control of the warriors mind..
derails him from his task at hand.
his sword in hand feels heavier then ever before.
the darkness looms overhead ..
the infected act not by their own will but by the will of a greater power..
like pawns on a chess piece .. they march blindly ahead ...
the last man stand upon a pile of corpses that once was his brethren ...
brothers in arms ..fell one by one to temptation..
now it is his time to lay down arms and surrender...
for he has found the treasure they all speak of ..
the most renowned , most powerful emotion of them all
he removes his armour and charges towards what he knows to be certain death....
still he must go on ..
his body tells him to stop as does his mind .. but his heart just wont allow that ..
not now...
blessed be his footsteps as he faces his demons .. may he not be distracted from his battles ..
may the knight not fall under the spell of the mooon and may he survive this impending doom..
so the witches say .. so mote it be ....

so mote it be

2011-01-20T07:25:00.000-08:00

the darkness expandable .. but I see more then just empty
Darkness in the void .. I see being and spirits of yester years
The jester dead in his rotting gold costume ...
The cards that speak to me and show me to way ...
The divinity surrounds my physical being
The board shall guide me to the truth
Each time I cast I bind my love .. I find myself bound more tightly to her
She of wavy hair and broad smile , the lovers seem to touch on the card itself
The devil bound me by thine chains
But death shalt be fast and swift
The fool over his cliff of doom
And temperance in disarray
The suites make battle
And fate will call
The red strings that pull us all
Deeper and deeper the pentacles guide
As smoke and salt shall smite thy goal
So this spell I giveth to thee to bless thee and make you mine
By the moon the day I cast
Guardians and spirits all amassed
May my spell tale effect on her
Three times as good three times sa bad
So mote it be ....

witheld

2011-01-01T08:59:00.000-08:00

Shadows creep in from blackout curtains ...
A raven screeched , circling high above ...
Impatient cultist chanting spells ..
The light of the pure ones dim in the shadows ..
Arrow headache blackened with blood ..
The shroud engulf , the shroud consumes ..
Major arcana cards circling the tarot ...
The tenth swords standing face up on the deck .. defeat
Darkened crimson leak from rotting concise the last survivor hides .. fear
There is no light ... there is no hope ..
The inevitable is upon him..
The card of death flutter into his Window and lands before his feet
His tower will crumble ...
His last stand will be futile ..
Death is not a sick sense of humour ..
A glimpse of the future as the fiery clouds strike down all the non worshippers ..
And himself torn limb from limb .. flesh from bone ..
Pain and hopelessness...
He stands ready to fight ..
Ready to ... die

posers

2010-11-26T08:09:00.000-08:00

I have smeared my honour ..
As the golden crown that is my dignity was tarnished that day
I realised nothing was ever to be the same ..
I bled myself and the would cuts deep ...
The honour to call you my brothers ... I have lost ..
The fight with the demons within .. I have lost ..
Given in to temptations ... given in to what I knew was wrong
The horrors I battle in my head each day ...
Your meager earth bound problems mean nothing ...
Your little cries and pleas for good luck ..
What is luck but not a figment of imagination
The truth is our honour was never ours alone ..
It never has been ...
It instead has always been the belonging of those who loved us..
And I foolishly corrupted it ...
Like a blinded general not listening to his troops and charging straight into
Certain death ....
No more voices call out to me .. I am all alone ..
The world start caving in .. and I am at the eye of the vortex
All alone ... all broken...
You write fantasies of a dark post apocalyptic world you do not know or understand
So go ahead and lead your stupid barbie doll lives .. and conform to the communistic regime
For you romanticised the worst feeling of all ..
Helplessness...
A feeling that hangs heavily on my shoulders ..
The truth is hidden within the lines... and you will never see me in the same light again ...

to recite as the coffin closes

2010-11-13T07:04:00.000-08:00

A mistake ...
Our namesake ..
The future seems to be ripped away at the very fabric of an emotion gone astray
Taken by surprise
As I open pandora's box ..
Peeking to see It's treasures ,
Needless to say the darkness over took me and I could not shut it in time ..
The ailments rampaged my body
as I was forced to pay literally and metaphorically
For my sins ...
It seemed so wrong and I knew it ...
She was so corrupt and I knew it ...
Like the emotional tilt one experiences after a bad beat in poker
I walked as a soulless body ... I knew not of reason but only of purpose ..
My purpose from that day on changed ...
As an inferno flame burns hay ... the events were irreversible ....
The life I knew had changed ... the truth I thought had escaped me ...
5 times over 10 times to go .. or I shall take my sins and shame to the grave
No one need know .. no one needs to bear my burden ...
So each day as I strive forward I race towards my grave .. but I will die knowing
I lived a good life .. I fought the good fight ...
Pray for me ... as I turn to god in my darkest hours ...
The one thing I regretted in this life thus far ...
"In order to banish lust from oneself ... one must hate it as much as god does "
Pray for me my brothers
Pray for me my friends ....
Keep my secret ...
To the grave may it be told ......

the inevitable must not be prevented

2010-11-03T09:02:00.000-07:00

Clouds of turmoil the swirl above me ..
The air choked of the thousands of rotting souls..
The days of glory ended ..
War broke out and missiles flew .. and as the drew
Across the once blue sky .. the earth beneath it died away ..
No one on the ground survived the apocalypse ...
A band of brothers took to the skies .. immortal angels who soon took flight
Lift off the toxic earth and cower the skies in an airship soo high above
Flintlock pistols and naval canons ... white sails on helium balloons ...
Floating above the carcass which once were our lands
Wait the captain stirs as he descends his ship through the crowd
A mysterious movement so fast and agile ... he looks through his crack looking glass
A black raven circling beneath him .....
He descends lower and lower
Little did he know this would be the last he would see of his ship ever again .

someone out there for me .

2010-11-03T08:38:00.000-07:00

It's in the middle of the night
People running , trying to fight ...
No words can express .. the feeling of losing deep down inside
I feel that no one understands me .. I watch as time swing before me
I almost breakdown and cry .....
I perch alone on this darkwood tree .. falcon of the dark
All the lands below me look up and know they fear me ...
Buy I feel so lonely and cold inside ....
I wait awhile obsessed with the blood lust ... I cannot find I cannot fight
.. so as the moons pass above me and the critters they call out to me .
They can't seem to understand how I bleed out inside ..
So I wait until my talons give way for the raven to come save my life
A bird of prey .. another one just like me .. if you're out there please hear my cries
Oh no ....
And then the blood lust it eats and comrades me ... I fall from so waay up high ..
As the shattered heart begins to heal all the bones in the flesh are no longer real
And the fog lifts .. I was just wasting my time ...

another one bites the dust

2010-08-09T08:28:00.000-07:00

take a look around
see the tortured faces and torched places...
see them cry hear them shout..
pull the trigger set the fires..
loot the poor
feast on a poor man's last dime..
sins of the past will reclaim you..
the hate you harbor consumes you..
scorching sunlight..
forcing you to hide..
hear the new light..
see the clear moonlight..
as the fangs show
you shall bleed too.
you shall give your only life to never die...
you steal the souls for you have none
crusifixes
shy your eyes...
stench of the garlic fumes your nose..
pale white skin so cold it burns in sunlight
the day is lost, the night is yours..
a new life..
a new death..
hope is once again reborned..
no life after..
no picture perfect honeymoons..
across the darkness. the sea of doom
the one who betrayed us shall not elude..
forces stronger
we will rise again..the world is yours now..
fight now..
brothers.....................

2010-06-25T02:10:00.000-07:00

He lay alone in the chilly solitary of which bounds his freedom
he reminisce the night of the four moons..
where this had all begun..
it was probably daylight by now.. he could feel the walls of his cell beginning to warm up..
his solitude was dark and damp.. there had been no other source of light except from a stray glimmer of flickering amber that seeped through a tiny crack in the walls.. it was using this ray that he was able to seperate his sleeping quarters from where he ate or defecated..
days seemed to pass like months.. his idle mind was on the brink of snapping..
a faint whisper..
click*
the door slides open...
a sudden rush of light momentarily blinded him..
he is escorted by women out of his cell into a narrow alley way..
his shoulder he now notices bore a distinct bite mark unlike any creature he had encountered before, and it emitted a faint blue hue under the scorching sun light that lit up e path through intricately designed window..
" odprte " one of them whispered..
and the large rock wall infront of them rolled ajar.
as they made their way onwards, he asks who his liberators were but each attempt seemed to yield no understandable response.
...
after hours of travelling, he approached what seemed to be a courtroom..
as he stepped forward , millions of questions popped in his head all at once..
and then he saw her.. all other questions seemed unimportant as he walked towards her , flabbergasted.

The traveller.. part1

2010-06-23T07:43:00.000-07:00

the nights grow weary on a this desolate plateau
the way is lost and so is the traveller's mind..
he searches onwards with caution controlling each step of his..
a full moon tonight...
he looks up to see pale blue rays piercing the otherwise pitch black canopy..
a step..
he looks around ..
searching desperately to see who or what else would be sharing this lonely night brisk walk with him..
a woman..
skin of ivory hue, threading effortlessly towards our traveller.
he holds up his double barrelled shot gun and demands identification..
it is at this point she looks at his..
moonstruck eyes glistening as it reflect a faint stray glitter from a tiny fading star...
she rushes to him
throws down his weapon..
and for once he let's his guard down.
her lips so sweet it seemed stain with cherries..
like polished ebony her eyes glare into his...
as she whispers " are you afraid of me?"
"oh no.. i am many things" said the traveller " but not afraid... no fear of death.. and certainly .. no fear for you"
"then take me now.."......
she holds him closer
their kissing have since become more intense.
the traveller forgets himself.. who he was...
as they lay to the soft earth...
soft cries as if the forest herself had been watching the couple..
now as his vision blurs out.. he falls into a deep sleep...

<< to be continued>>

may this be my last regret..

2010-06-15T07:32:00.000-07:00

as i dash veridian across an empty sheet of papyrus ,
i reminisce a faint memory.
i remember my friends of whom sat beside me as we rapped along to the song remember the name
clear blue skies or tinted overcast, i remember that it had indeed been the best days of my life.
now as the days flash before me turning into weeks and months like the flip of a page of an old vatican diary.
i dream each night of the times when we were masters of our life.. no bonds .. no tight schedule..just a limitless bus card and wishful thinking..both of which are items of the past..
the days are short..
yet i can see no end to this purgatory...
drop by drop as it slips away ...
no longer vivid.. no longer real...
like a spiral , webs of memories are sucked into small glass capsules..
achievements quantified by pieces of paper..
now as competition reaches breaking point..
the new team advance on unconquered territory with their rifles pointed ahead and their pistols to the temple of the guy next to you.
the piece of paper now filled with colour ages from within..
and begins to crack..
a spill of alcohol and a concentrated beam of warm afternoon sun..
all the foundation and colour turn an awkward shade of umber...
what i will miss when this is all over...

2010-05-14T07:26:00.000-07:00

lost
alone in solitude
nothing to do....
a grey-ing effect on the life i have been leading for the past week
one thing remains constant.
i have been a parasite..
i have been of no use to myself or the block
i watch as my body shrivels away in waste
i look on...
a tight grip about my throat....
what lifesaver is he , if he cannot even save his own life...
i turn around...
this world is becoming more and more cloudy...
more and more hazy
the world i live in is warping
i can no longer stand by and watch
something must be done..
and as i surge forward, the metal chain that is my body restrict me
i am helpless..
devour me.....

brothers, i miss you.

2010-04-10T00:13:00.000-07:00

is this betrayal?
every morning i dawn a shade of umber, and think to myself...
what have i become?
where are my brothers?
why have we deserted them?
a wave of disappointment washes over my soul-less being.
what ever happened ?
our beliefs so strong .
our hopes so high.
what ever happened my brothers?
why have we disbanded
such selfish reasons i have to have left you all.
every word i speak , every slang i use.
i do so with anger
angry at the fact that i no longer possess the equivalent control over my command of
words. but instead, have been relegated to illustrate ideas using broad and generic terminology.
my brothers, them whom i have trained with.
them whom i have led with.
i miss you all.
frustrated as i may be at the fact that i have chosen to left you for mere aesthetic features of a hollow walls and glass ceilings.
how shallow i must be, to have been unable to look past these and see exactly how meaningless life is.
i still find my sense of belonging and rooted-ness to my alma mater , and yet sense no connection between myself and where i go.
brothers, i miss you.

solitary hopes , unified dreams

2010-03-24T07:25:00.000-07:00

my private realm of silence
a place of my own
i drape the windows of agony a deep vermilion hue
and colour the floors of anguish with bright yellow
i imagine world of peace and sanctuary
a lonely, peaceful world.
a place i can be myself in
no shame
no inglory
no more of being looked down upon or despised
i believe in a world that is just and fair
whereby everyone would live in equality and in happiness
cohesion and unifications
an amalgamation of all my deepest thoughts and hopes of feelings
i set up alternatives to search to look to wonder about
how my life was meant to be like
and how it fitted into the grand scheme of things
a whirlpool of thoughts engulf me
and within it
i gasp a breath of fresh sulphur
the demon vanquished
the world saved
then again i realise its just me.

i realise how insecure my pedestel has always been, and crouch away into the dark side.

2010-03-12T06:35:00.000-08:00

i cry a river of crimson larva,
my heart it shatters.
the world son fragile how superficial.
nothing goes further then the occasional hello.
the strength of unity of brotherhood .
where has it gone.
my brothers you have my backing, for i will support you in all you do.
my fellow friends, what have we become , but just a mere smudge upon the wall of existence
i turn towards my reflection clear beads of tears rolling down my cheeks.
so beautiful so colorful
yet with the slightest touch, it shatters beyond hope of repair.
where is the line that which we must draw?
our boundaries.
i can no longer see wrong from right.
the blood drain it causes poor decision making.
in hampered sanity, i limp forward.
the noun "i" used solely to depict the fact that which the superficiality pains me to the extent that which i can no longer consider us using a collective adjective.
alone
alone

as they once suggested .ALL these frail twine supports cannot ever be considered in conparison to one single steel cable

we're saving our own lives.

2010-03-03T05:34:00.000-08:00

its a chance for us.
a chance for all of man kind.
united as one.
helping each and every one of us.
no barriers of religion.
no barriers of nationality.
no hatred for one another.
a brotherhood of humanity
for the world because of the world
save the wounded
heal the sick
take care of those around you whom require your aid.
no false pretenses
no hidden agendas.
just a cohesive human race
standing together
leaning upon each other for support.
no lies
no hate
no wrath
no greed
no lust
no vanity
no jealousy
no more are we one person
let us move beyond that
now we shall be..
Humanity's helping hand.

demons they haunt me

2010-02-25T04:28:00.000-08:00

i fear for you. i stare in horror at the things i see through my night black eyes.
a monster beyond the void is haunting my every move.
i see its face in every mirror, or pool of water
as trains pass me by , he grips my soul
he never lets go.
waiting for a time when i slip.
he will possess my body
claiming it in his rights
a beast i become
that which the 7 cardinals will all be broken
the moral pillar will be shaken
but i shall persist on.
keeping my core beliefs.
with the lords strength he banishes this demon from my soul
he grants me forgiveness for my weaknesses
he grants me strength and eternal life
it is in him i realise
it is through my lords power i am who i am
and the only way i can be who i aim to be.

2010-02-20T19:15:00.000-08:00

the truth so sad it pains so hard
the wakening of my still beating heart
so fly forth forward
so cry on the clouds the world will be your comfort
your mind runs wild . its the first time people have noticed it.
its a whole new playing field that which i am not ready for.
so watch this fall,
into it all..
going pass my mind's past erasing all my prejudice against the world.
and in no time.
i hope our voices are heard.
that you will accept my apology.

to her with the sleek bronze tail.

2010-02-05T23:55:00.000-08:00

as the last of the golden beams retreated for the day,
the hour long darkness began to pollute the cerulean atmosphere
..
down by a deserted alley, a tiny creature begins her nightly routine.
stalking up worn down fences..
the nights these days are getting colder she thought to herself, prancing gingerly through heaps of rubble..
the pale blue moon, whining in the empathetic cresent not a care for the many down below. selfishly guarding the golden rays of light from us down below.
her skin of perfect pink ivory, guarded by a coat of gold stripped bronze fur...
her ears twitching in the beautiful midnight moon-breeze.
she senses a faint smell of sulfur in the air.
her spine freezes.
she recognizes the smell, that which left her orphan all these years.
dark shadows appear in the distant clearings..
she screeches and bolts away.
the shadows seem to be gaining on her quickly.
she makes a sharp turn..
heart ponding like a drum, as she feels warm blood rushing into her ears...

and at this point, the writer decides to leave his workstation and bring himself back down to earth back down to his squalid workstation in a mouldy and dusty office.

--to wherest it came so it shall return.
to whom dis was dedicated to, i shall not forget.
the path is long and may you walk through it justly.

this were to be his final moments

2010-01-24T18:38:00.000-08:00

the turn-coat
tiny beads of water turned to ink as the rolled down his umbrella
the noise of his surroundings muffled a silent coughing noise
his comrade in front of him hugs her body as her white evening gown turns a deep hue of velvet red.
the mole in the organization
he shed his blue uniform
he left it in the rain
blood-stained and rain-soaked
he scoffed at the ghastly sights of those whom he had murdered.
double the agent, double the glory
he reached into his beige pants and pulled out fine white powder, and inhaled it.
a momentary rush, as life around him seemed to slow down
a creak
in one fell swoop he withdrew his pistol, zeroed it, aimed it.
bang!
he was too slow..
he hesitated ..
this time it was his ebony cloak's turn to drip the faint smell of oxidising iron
from a pool of crimson nothing-ness

2010-01-09T23:25:00.000-08:00

Knowledge
in this world of lawlessness
who is to judge of one's quality inferiority
our leaders ,the world's leaders gathered
swearing to instill in each of us the knowledge
to keep us going . To keep them going.
Hoping that in the masses of millions of people
there would be a handful of us capable to use this knowledge
for the betterment of the world ,for the betterment of mankind
who is to judge
progress ,downfall
each in it's own is but a ratio created in comparisson to our past.
One shot
wish for a better world
a dreamer
a sleeper
who is to judge of the difference

the very best

2010-01-06T03:17:00.000-08:00

dark dreams engulfing
the spiral of hatred
reminisce of the times
the times of purgatory
the times of grief
the nights when death himself
seemed to stroke your skin with his
cold lifeless fingers
the nightmares
more and more of them
the valley of the shadow of death
the life within reach
slowly diminishing
your irises dilate
blood in your veins seem to slow down
you hear every sound and capture every beam of light
no more
no more she tells him
he walks away
no more pain
just this cold
dank
empty
four walls
that which he must face every day
and every night
no more
she told me..
and so i granted
the cool cement flooring never felt so scorching against his skin
i drift between the first and second person's perspective
just as much as my consciousness allows me.
crystal clear and highly viscous
a cool soothing feeling as it ran down my throat
then..
in an instance later
he could no longer breath
he was but another lifeless object within the walls of the cell
he once spoke to me that life was never the same without her
no he was no longer in possession of life itself..
just another lifeless object
just another perfect casualty.
i have grown weary of this endless struggles
my patience wears too thin
he snapped..
that's just life

welcome to purgatory

2009-12-23T07:29:00.000-08:00

your arms burn as they try to rekindled a lost flame
your soul twitches in its place
a fresh start
that means hell on earth
the more you do the more you have to do
what point is that for you to carry on in this battle
you have outlived your purpose
"out-served" your passion
that is no need to be one of us
why are you here?
the battle you have fought
the trophies you have won
meaningless
stripped down bare to the pathetic bar on a piece of cloth that is your ampulet
what for?
why fight on?
why do you choose the most difficult of routes?
these questions will befall on you
there will be shame
there will be pain
but no longer will you have to bear it alone
same goes for the credit you will no longer claim it as if it were your own
maximum pain
minimum glory
a good coat of arms to be fighting for...

as poor as such

2009-12-21T06:02:00.000-08:00

quiet silence of a symphonic orchestra
a silent squeaking between the pause
not a noise but a sound
as her tiny paws scrambled amongst tapping toe caps
thudding sounds.. resemble napalm crashing to the earth lighting up the sky in a brilliant amber projection
to her extreme sense of hearing.. an out of tune vibration in the air....
she raises the upper torso
surveys the surroundings
on conclusion she runs due south towards the exit
away from the high frequency noise
suddenly
..
her hearing sense seem to all but function
a flash of white light
the amber flicker burning the crimson liquid of the humans a deep umber colour
mars black smoke fills the chapel...
she lays motionless
as the winterchill takes over

day 6.5

2009-12-06T05:21:00.000-08:00

the long march takes her toll on us..
our eye bags darken...
our calf muscles pulling taut against our joints..
but renewed in strength ..
the saw a group of cadets weak eager to retreat..
but we shall stand and we will not yield..

for long now....
the journey has begun
as we walk onwards our differences are cut down
barriers broken
dreams formed
a life beyond the next activity
a life beyond the harsh words
a life of empowerment

as we march onwards
the jimminy cricket within us reminds us
of the image that which we are to uphold
calmness in the center of the tornado
the sense of urgency in a slowly fading wind
the life of a fish battling for his life against the receding tide

just one of them
just another soldier
just another leader
just another you...

the code : move faster think better do more
is no longer a code we live by..
it is our standing order
we must be better
for our alma mater
for our reputation
for our corps
no more will there be me, you, him, her....
but only a we....

on the road

2009-11-26T19:33:00.000-08:00

her eyes of dark flame,
snow white skin
hand in hand
red lips of passion
a soul who has cheated life
..
condemned to steal the souls of men
..
she is a wish
your every desire
dark wing will lift you unto the sky
the wing of her child were crushed and killed
..
dracula's powers could never compare..
she gave the meaning when you said she stole your heart
she gave you a life that could never be real
...
you drop your armour
moved in closer
the pulse on your neck seems to draw her nearer..
..
as your fantasy unfolds,
your soul caves in into a nothingness
..
succubus...

ashes to ashes , dust to dust

2009-11-25T04:07:00.000-08:00

the very essence of night mares
the gift of darkness
freedom of silence
in an epic proportion of geurilla warfare
the puff of smoke from a triggered pistol
in flight with demons
the very essence of nightmares
the happiness of fear
as fire drips slowly
trapped forever in trance
the love surrounding you form up the labyrinth
within which the minotaurs of your own tortured soul ram
aimlessly ..
onyx black highlights surrounding the dull vermillion flames
so clear so defined
he will remain
forever

sweet sixteen.. taking plunge...

2009-11-11T00:38:00.000-08:00

so come on
this day is yours
once and ever
glorious in the sun
dance and shout it out
confront your demons
and live your life free
this is time
just explode you radiance
colour your life
in red and blue and green and orange
..
just live
its your life
take the chance
roll the dice
gamble your worries down the billard table
...
and now , jokes aside
you are one
you are free...

of all wishes...this one's a curse

2009-11-10T05:44:00.000-08:00

to all those whom this may concern:
and indifferent news of such.
one cannot lose touch
for the day after this,
the eleventh day of the eleventh month..
an honourary routine ,
marking my age...
my life has thus shortened by one year.
and yet i feel
as if i were dying right now
my faint pulse skips its eleventh beat
my lungs draw no air from my eleventh breath
and all those around me look at me and stare
a cold needle pricks my fragile hand..
i walk with him and his sickle..
so far
so long
into
the void.........

lady of hartz

2009-11-06T05:02:00.000-08:00

prestige and honor could not compare
emotions gathered for this we swear...
harbored by the protection of others..

youth of thy fountain , follows thy spring.
autumn begins , edge of sixteen.
nations will bow , their heads in thy crowns.
gathering amidst the billowing clouds..

yesterday, she was but a needle in a hay field..
under pressure she fits into the family heirlooms...

in desperation the young prince searches but never finds
the love so strong had made him blind
binded by the iron shackles...
he risk his life of freedom to that of matrimony...
he lost his crown and all those around..
he has too flee from this wretched town
faster and faster they run and run.
until suddenly, she stops ..
stunned
shrapnel fell from high above plundering their lives now rested in dirt..
above them all a white rock had said here in lies the leader of dead...

cry out your joy (the immortal)

2009-11-03T04:11:00.000-08:00

destroyed yet victorious..
his will dying off
his body slams down to the ground
grime on his forehead..
the scorching sun and hollow moons
..
he has to fight
for no one
not for his lover.
not for himself..
just fight
for the sake of fighting..
not to win..
but to make others lose..
..
he grips his stomach in one hand,
and weilds his blunted machete in the other.
he stands
the waves of unbearable torture..
..
each one not able to kill him..
..
he fights..
..
no more shame ..
no more lost love..
no more emotion..
his pupils dilate fully..
a soul-less being slaying away at mindless danger...
blunted
dulled
battered
crushed
bent
smashed

he stands up once more..
rips off his flawed armour
his perfect body unharmed..
an imagery of dorian grey.
he picks up the wooden stake he stabbed into the ground
plunges it into his chest cavity..
veridian larva gushes out...
his face turns a pale shade of cerulean..
his body floats away into the breeze as ashes...

calamity and disorder

2009-10-18T21:24:00.000-07:00

queen of rose.
upsurpt from her throne.
yet still commanding the folks.
king of skies
tries his best to help with her difficult thorns.
all of rose , micromanaged...
the sky feels trapped and stale.
all the days seem the last too long ..
and hell begins to unfold...
and my blood,
trapped by the storm's close ..
shattered the thin taut rope

watchers

2009-10-05T01:41:00.000-07:00

in this moment of gloried homicide,
i dedicate to thee..
in exoneration of a guilty reluctance..
my glorified existence comes crumbling down..
my tall gold-plated pedestal of sand..
triumphant i may be..
but the are not tears of joy..
for he has what i do not...
the true joy of this i cannot have..
the love of my life now left and buried..
..
on the tombstones i do read..
on her grave i will keep safe from harm..
her corpse of no more life will never be diarmed...
a victorious knight in white armour ..
now a necrophilic grave keeper...
but leave him be..
a necrophile swimming in the cauldera...

2009-09-23T04:33:00.000-07:00

atop the pedestal composed of your fallen adversaries bodies.
claiming the sweet thick , viscuous honey nectar of revenge.
sweet delight to see them in virtual purgatory , as they burst into ashes in front of your eyes.
they never thought much of me..
they had always thought i was insignificant...
but i no longer care..
i will retain my self-respect and walk on through life with my head held high ,
whist using the skulls of cadavers as spittoons..
no longer...
if i have to walk through the life of victory alone then so be it.....
i am the victor now.....

my life

2009-09-07T08:33:00.000-07:00

http://javin93.deviantart.com/art/the-beatings-136220560

2009-08-31T06:38:00.000-07:00

liars backstabbers...
in my jouney, i have seen so many butterflies turn out to be bees in disguises.
the masks they wear..
a falsehood shared by brothers and sisters..
i have learnt that this world is driven by sins..
greed translate in to money , in to wealth into charity organisations into embezzlement...
lust turned to love turn to sex turned into alimony.
wrath disguises as courage , translates into fighting spirit , causing wars .
gluttony becoming innovative food produce, that cause diabetes and obesity.

need i elaborate futher?

all you have in this world is yourselves..
..
if u think u have a soul mate,
think again..
i'd like to push the boundaries further... has anyone loved without lusting?
no isnt it?
..
truth be told..
everything is a lie..
we must lie to live...
subsistence will one day be all that we've got left.....

you will never understand me, never.....

2009-08-27T00:49:00.000-07:00

here me as my blood is bleeding..
my heart you see is no longer beating.
you cannot realise the ache i'm feeling.
just step aside while i'm falling.
they say that as we grow up we become stronger,
some of use , we become weaker.
their eyes they just stare into our veins
causing us to feel so much pain.
their lies the hurl as their offences
we crumble beneath their savage verses.
theres no more light,
no more fun,
all the world has turn on us.
we must must run
run away
from their sacarsm,
from their eyes
..
no more hurting
no more pain
our legs they bear us through this shame.
foundations crack
they are leaking sand
you hear you see
all has been disband
a moment of folly, your lifes regret.
hold me close now, run away.
they come now, crushing us against our will
they hear now, cutting us apart.
we must run .
our eyes pool out a lake full of crimson.
no more no more
..
they can hurt us nomore..
our skin has healed
our lives are done.
my heart is kept in its original charm.
no one can hurt it no one will
many tried so many have failed..
never will i sit in corners
sobbing for my heart's lost honours..
..
Never again....

perhaps its too little , too late..

2009-08-17T23:43:00.000-07:00

there once was a knight fighting so far far away..
he used to scowl at his king who gave the orders astray..
but one day his messenger came from the eastern hills, bearing ill news of their kingdom
the knight he rushed onwards to save his people...
but by the time he retreated , his castle laid in ruins..
the knight he said crying," i'm sorry my dear king,
you wisdom was endless, and i was insolent..
i should just listened i should stayed by your side...
now i beg of your forgiveness as i lay down my lifeee"..
he kneels near the crusifix on which bore his master..
the stench of their carcasses fouling the winds..
then his men they stabbed their spears in to the grounds as tears bled through their helmets..
the sky it had darkened , the rain on our arrows ,
i heard the knight said in his dying bloody words,
" forgive me , my weakness, my many many sins..
i should've just listened instead of arguing..
my sister , my brothers they are returning to their land ...
perhaps some day , we may rule again...
no ten thousand years later,
we should face the same..
why have we been fighting the castel,
why havent we been there...
now in rubbles i lay still,
blood flowing from my torso,
i still regret mmy defiance to my kings...

2009-08-17T06:50:00.000-07:00

its a trap!
its a trap its a trap..
turn around..
run runn runn
run like hell.. dun let it get yoou

gogogogogogo

2009-08-17T05:25:00.000-07:00

i see the impressions fading away as i leap frog through the cracks in
time , telling myself, woohoo im outta here...

the stranger

2009-08-17T03:20:00.000-07:00

how vulgar and erotic..
the sight of the void seducing myself..
stripping away part by part of my shields..
exposing virgin naked flesh..'
tempting me, drawing me closer and closer...
i walk , shifting my steps backwards as best i can.
a parry, followed by a block,
a jump, and i feel my soul split into two at the seary heat from her sabre
the scythe now , dripping with blood stand erect on my carcass

the creationist

2009-08-17T03:15:00.000-07:00

strokes laid perfectly..
her life she encased in her works..
neat , precise...
effort thought consideration concentrated on her life,
minute details done and redone..
free, yet accurate..
staying true to her course..

the sun-flower lover

2009-08-17T03:13:00.000-07:00

she of whom,
sister of the chemist..
her fight is not with the world, but within it..
her love for all things inanimate,
and disgusts at the slightest of remarks miscast..
her smile..
wide, barring polished canines to defend
her soft yellow
sunflowers

the chemist

2009-08-17T03:10:00.000-07:00

long gold hair fluttering against her copper skin.
the toll of studies never scarred her flawless facade..
she is superior in this realm..
her knowledge so vast so deep..
i glance at her entity.
from across the void..
she smiles at her enemies,
muttering words that shatter their will..
their fight could never be started..
she is the diplomat , the scholar, the chemist...

until and unless (song for my love)

2009-08-09T06:35:00.000-07:00

until and unless,
you show me you love me.
until and unless,
you stop shoutin at me..
until you see the world with eyes as open you realise your smile is broken..
you finally understand that the world is coming to an end...
until you .. realli know me..
until you , dare to kiss me..
till the day that i am sure that when i go down on my knees
that you will say yes..
that you will say yes..
you know that we belong..
you know that you are the onlii one for me yet you aint coming back for me..
so fine i say , as i walk away ..
youll never see the scars again..
just that plastic mask i wear ..
to speak only when i am spoken to..
i am cold.....
unless. you open me...
alocked wooden door you cant see me..
you will never know of me...
i will dissapear ...
i will give you the satisfaction of seeing me in my own purgaaatooryyyyy
until and unless ...
you love me.

runaway mental

2009-08-06T06:37:00.000-07:00

bright larva oozing out from squishy tubules..
loud screams of joy.
the buzzling sound of a motor,
with lovely shiny crystals moving round and round in circles,
touching anything,
and turning it into my favourite colour.... vermilion..
that actually sounds cute ..
ver me lion..\
ooh
lions .. gentle cats..
reddish cats..
i touch them, and they become two..
so beautifull.....
zzzzz
...
weeeeeeeeeeee
...
zzzzz
..
ARgh!!!!!
...
zzzz
....
woohoooo
..
zzzz
...
some one could get ....
zzzz
...
fun..
eek
..
i got red paint all over my clothes .....
why did u spill red paint on my clothes?
now my mom's gon get so angry wif me..
..
hmmph
..
good bye
....
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

arial... the beginning.....

2009-08-03T06:48:00.000-07:00

your master scolds you.
the words that had replaced the whip the replaced the ratan cane.
the cut from the inside..
you feel the urge to argue.
you know you cannot win.
even if you won, you would still have lost, in the grand scheme of things.
you are lost..
the pain from the inside..
you dig your fingernails into your arm,
pain that distracts you from more pain..
ironic
,..
" you are a waste of my time'
your heart bleeds liquid crystals from your eyes.
poisoning them , a veridian glow.
the fire.
the emptiness,
while you are corrodes from the insides..
your gut twirls in magnificent spirals.
the pain..
everything you were fighting for turning against you.
the inferno,
leaving in its wake a cold dark solitary destitude..
you are alone..
a mystery weather the cold was from the beads of tears wiped haphazzardly on your sleves... or from your heart...
your soul splits into two, co-existing in one body.
one dominant over the other..
you fight yourself..

you have become an abomination.....

you are not alone

2009-07-30T05:10:00.000-07:00

green caterpillas
crawling , moving slowly over a piece of leaf.
comfortable.
it spins its home.
comfortable.
then it is soaking it boiling water killing it slowly.
its home is now worn and sold as the most comfortable of fabric...
oil, the thing that gets you to school on time.
pumped out of creaks ,like liquidified gold.
a leak,
and a family of five , living together in harmony,
so loving...
suffocated before being burnt in their sleep..
life..
as young mothers hold their new born in weak flaccid arms,
a feeble smile carrying so much emotions...
some where else, a single-parent father of three dies at war...
his carcass no where to be found..
his children displaced from their homes..
classes..
the smarts, maintaining their aces , victorious all the time, work harder..
never contented with what they have..
the rest of us, struggling for passes , looked down and spat upon..
why cant we be them?
the rich,
surrounded by people,
donations aplenty..
their pockets inflate faster then one can differentiate..
the poor,
walking the same corridor as you and i.
alone ..
getting poorer and worser every day..
you,
smart and rich,
the lord has been kind unto you..
yet you take these gifts for granted...
i ,
know what it feels like to be hit..
in the stomach,
in the face
..
hurt greviously..
scarred for life by the demons of my past..

yet you dare say you feel alone?
yet you dare wonder what you are fighting for?
you have yet to understand soo much.....

i-- the last of the alphabets to yours..

2009-07-24T06:02:00.001-07:00

i wish you you good luck to the love you have found...
be sure to send me a post card , uptown girl:>
ill be waiting..
you know where.:>

to him to find her, to tell her i love her, and im sorry

2009-07-24T05:22:00.000-07:00

i do not love those of whom judge me, by what they see.
i do not love those who show off to me.
i do not love those who can manipulate me.
i do not wish of love,
i do not dream of its power.
it is a well polished trophy,
useless.
its all the same...
it will always be ..
what starts with sin of lust..
how those people make it sound so ..
majestic..
no.
i do not love...
those who do not love me back.
if you want me..
you can take the second step...
cus my staircase has no first step...
if you wish to dive..
do not try to resurface..
there is no air....
i do not love....

for my love so far away has found her man , and now i dead.
so to those who read of my tragic passing send her flowers,
walk her down the aisle.
walk her past the biten apple,
proven her lover with 5 loaves and 2 fishes.
and make sure she doesnt ever.
find out o\how i have ...
crashed , and incenerated...
so go forth now..
she is waiting...

nicky- instructions for the damned

2009-07-23T06:24:00.000-07:00

when you read this letter you must ensure that you are alone.
it is of paramount importance that only you should know of this letter.
you know who i am.
i , the author , is you , before your memories were erased.
you must believe me.
if not , just check the underside of your right thumbs nail, i have imprinted serial numbers underneathe it.
you will need the number in your next mission.
first of , a girl will approach you, three days from the day you have regained consciousness.
her name is nicky, but you will call her nick.
she will be your driver and weapons manager.
as you might already have noticed , you are able to do certain things .
things that normal people cannot do.
things that i cannot specify in this letter.
just know that a group of agents known only as the renaissance.
they are well skilled.
you must not fight them alone , or head on for that matter.
you must seek out a man who goes by the name of "lucky spear".
do not get close to him, and keep your distance from his daughters.
you must convince him to help you.
nick will help you with most of that.
your next set of instructions are 10 kilometers from where you stand.
bearing 173 degrees.
good luck , me..

avenging my past

2009-07-21T02:01:00.000-07:00

on the altars of anti- christ ,
the priestress stole my heart and with it called out the devil in myself.
i watched as love decayed into lust ,
as generosity turned to gluttony.
i saw my life flash before my eyes,
the torture.
they do not know me.
they have never been tortured , tormented as i have.
dejected and abandoned , kicked around as if i were scum. no more.
i fight back . now.
astruse it might seem. but i am certain .
for i balieve.
i deserve better.
no more constraints.
no more phoeny sovereignty
.
this is a new era.
my era.
..
put me in a juxtaposition , next to the crystal sculptrure of my past.
i smash it to bits.
the fire in my heart , drives me.
i will avenge my past .
defeating my enemies with success ..
i say this unto my jailors.
watch out , i'm coming...

heron

2009-07-16T06:41:00.000-07:00

thewhite bird sitting there.
no no , that one.
her right there, can you see?
yes , what is this why is she looking at me?
i raise my beak call out to her.
when , BLAST! her guts are on my face .
a faint tear flashes onto my eyes but evaporates quickly as i dive for cover.
i no longer have much tears now.
the christians call out in the name of god!
the muslims call out almost exactly the same words , but in a different tongue..
they blasts each other all day and night.
on two feets they think i fight.
but no, no one wins, only me and my brothers and sisters lose..
we who feed on the plaugue , who then die of the plague , who then pass the plague on to both armies , who in turn die , and start the cycle all over.
the fishes here,
there used to be fishes here,
now even them taste like gun powder.
Boom.
i close my eyes
when i open them ,
i see the white heron once again...

sheryl ( share-el) :D

2009-07-15T07:09:00.000-07:00

we sit side by side..
man and woman,
honour and pride.
"i fight for my king" she say
i fight for my love - he says.
do you enjoy commitment really?
i do..
i doo..
i commit myself to the war.
i commit myself unto death..
i do not however commit my self to treason , treachery or to any single form of life.
-i said.
so you are the water, that flows and leaves no trace?
-she asks
no .i am the sound. the echo . i may not leave my physical trace,
but people who are near me , who do feel me ,i leave a memory.
ha.
and what of myself?
-she asks
you are the one who does not listen , for your memory has already ended..
the bomb explodes...

irene ( aye - reeeeeeeen) :D

2009-07-14T06:22:00.000-07:00

dear diary,
i saw this amazing girl in class, she's a foreigner from france i hear..
or egypt or ceylon or amsterdam ..
ohh yes amsterdam..
haha
well that would explain her great looks
perfect body..
not that ive seen it without clothes ..
hey wait..
hmm..
that could be arranged..
jaxon and the gang intend to .... her...
they asked for my help to film it..
hhaha
..
that sounds like a good idea doesnt it..?
but nah .. im not the kind of person who would do this kind of atroceous acts
im a nice person..
haha who am i kidding huh?!
im just a coward..
but still part of me longs to save irene..
yes i shall do that ..
the righteous way hahaha

nurse nicole ( Nii-cou-le) :D

2009-07-14T01:41:00.000-07:00

raimbaut and rannson were tallking..
raimbaut: so explain to me now, what exactly is going through your mind?
rannson: like i need to tell you that... we're both gon' get the tree in two days time!
waht can we be thinking about..
raimbaut: quite true.. we might as well be tying our own nooses sitting here..
rannson: does it feel this way? ageing? we wait for a fate soo inevitable..
raimbaut: inevitable? .. nonono... look there...
rannson: the window? but only one of us will be able to fit through that pathetic slit..
raimbaut: you go then..this damn cell aint big enuff for the two of us..
rannson: but you'll die.?....
raimbaut: so be it.. i have done enough to deserve to die.. tonight.. you will go ..
leave this castle , and run due east.. dopn't eva look back..
take the horses by the stables if you have to..
rannson: another theft? i'm already considered as one of the cities most notorious murderers and now i am to steal? just when i'm turning over a new leaf?
raimbaut: look you want to change over ? good do it some where else..
besides i've imparted all my fast hand techniques to you...
rannson: i will return to place flowers on your tree.
raimbaut : thanks. and one more thing, bradamante, you take her.
rannson: but what of.......
(this instance, nurse nicole walks pasts.)
nicole: what are you doing rannson?
rannson nothing just examining my chin for hair and dirt miss, i want to look good when i die.
(satisfied, nurse nicole walks away)
(rannson smiles one last time and walks away for his reflection in the mirror.)

what happenned on april 15th 1912

2009-07-12T04:30:00.000-07:00

here me shout, here me sing.
you're there, you keep on running.
you try to gasp , there is no air,
youre drowning , you can feel it too .
im drowning here same as you.
the rush of the rapids so soon so fast.
sweeping you away you fight the gush.
i reach out my hand grab on if you can.
you turn away . youre swept away.
why my dear , sophronia.
with skin so soft and hair so fine.
why my dear amelia, of heart so strong and heart so kind.
has royalty decayed you so.
your witthered fingers i now hold.
you draw no breathe you lay so still.
people crying , saying i killed.
you lie here now in this wretched box,
but what is this? i thought
for in your hand wrapped tightly still,
our rings of love that binds us still.
you fidgit, and all else is shocked
..
you cough up a little water, and noone moved , i asked again,
my dear juliet, have you life? or was that just all a show?
..
she pressed her self against him.
and whispered...
i had to know......

heyy there.

2009-07-12T01:32:00.000-07:00

hey !
you there.
turn back and face me.
you might have saved my life before, but i still count this , a mortal insult.
hey you there.
yes you, the girl with green viens,and burnt eyes.
you there, the blind girl who sees all.
the short girl , who stands tall.
i am here..
but you are not talking about me.
that i know that i understand.
you walk away thinking the world is so cold,
i run after you , dreading for you to come back.
u jump..
i followed...

what my pop speech would have been

2009-07-11T04:58:00.000-07:00

good afternoon, Mr lee ,Ms jackie cheng ,teachers , cis, squadmates and juniors
i thank you all for being here today.
your participation in our humble ceremony means a great deal to my self and my fellow squadmates.
today, my speech is not about all the grand occasions that we have gone through.
it is not.
those , have been mentioned and reitterated time and time again.
Frankly, i do not remember all of those occassions anymore.
but what i do remember, is the stench of body odour as we are hugging each other during our camp, hiding underneath an all-too-small poncho.
i remember back in secondary 2, when we were in pumping position, being scolded by yuen long sir..
i remember the days where we would debate on wheather to skip trainings .
i remember the times when we would mess up, and laugh about it.
to me, these important occassions mean lesser to me then these small , little things.
how we have grown.
like steel , under intense heat from our seniors.
the " hit-against the anvil occassion" when we feel like giving up, and the guy next to us says" hang in there.."
these i remember.
for today.
it is not our last good bye.
it is our last see-you-soon.
it may be the end of our journey.
yes it is the end.
but that does not mean we must forget.
about the times we polished our boots.
about having our faces splashed with flour.
no. we will still remember them.
we may have fought but we have always made up.
you are the ones i will treasure.
the ncc air may be a gold unit but to me, we are more than that.
we are a family.
and i would not have wanted to go through this journey with anyone else.
..
you have taught me much.
we may all have our faults.
but together we are strong.
i believe in us.
so to all, see you soon.

on the A4

2009-07-10T04:56:00.000-07:00

the world is done with me.
it is self sufficient, and me , redundant.
it has left me, well the most of it.
now i find my solitude more comforting , more welcoming then
stupid cocktail parties' and phoeny aristocrats.
the world is sufficient.
no man is an island.
i am no man.
i am a soldier.
i am a fighter.
i must fight on..
regain my honour.
brak my bones my master.
smash me to smitterines my master .
force me to fit in to the world if you may for i am yours' to command...
force me against my will..
allow me to blend in with the growing grey void of empty souls and fragile hearts..
and as i speak my ashley intertwined, skipping around dryly on a plain canvas.
who is she ? i ask.
that fine red suit daler.
on our nylon tips we spar .
dancing on this plain white canvas..
spreading our colours to this grey dull world..
then she turns to complete the sentence..
.. not so dull , this town is any more?

2009-07-08T06:59:00.000-07:00

i look up at the pale blue moon wondering if she spoons
hoping that i.ll see her soon

wind

2009-07-05T07:38:00.000-07:00

i no longer hear her voice now.
the goddess of wind in all her glory.
it seemed , a dream.
she spoke to me.
she told me of her life.
of how she used to be mortal.
of how she died before finding her lover.
of the nights she cried.
she still looks young.
centuries have lost their effect to wear marks into her intangible skin.
she walks on water, and runs through houses.
when enraged, her wrath destroyed towns and castles.
kings and queens feared her.
nobles and peasents alike, prayed to her.
i no longer hear her voice ,
not as loudly.
not as clearly.
she speaks in the the language of wherever she may live.
she spoke to me.
but now.she has faded.
but i still believe in her.
she still exists.
proof lies all around me.
i look out of a sealed glass window,
and see her tango with fire,
as she hugs the ancient trees, causing them to crackle in please.
she kisses the water ,and it ripples in concentric circles.
she kisses me through the sealed window, yet i am unaware.
she does exist .
that i am sure.
that i believe in.
one day wind, we would be free forever......

2009-07-04T07:37:00.000-07:00

under the voilet sky i shall pluck a drop of rainbow,
as i pour liquid gold into your silver chalice and drink down the last drop of arsenic
i close my eyes as you lead me in my last dance.
the serene oil-painted background shouts to me.
it calls out my name.
slowly i fade into the buildings
up onto the walls
and into the picture
the old gold framed canvas,
now with my picture on it.
here i pose in all my glory , alongside my victorious ancestors.
here i lie .
my own tombstone.

M

2009-07-02T02:56:00.000-07:00

ahh at last i am one more step closer to my dream.
i dreamt one night rainy night of a bright and sunny day,
i dreamt of her when our hair had already turned grey.
a best friend of mine, M.
so it was her , my friend M who would sit next to me.
in times of hardship ,whom would talk to me.
i heard her name, as i said this phrase.
" why of this world it seems so cold,
whom of this earth shall be my coat"
and in the winds we held on tight,
and into spring,we sprung new life.
out from her , came such Joy.
it welcomed me into real sight.
i thought for long, and thought real hard.
for if her hands were for my heart.
but for our love and for our Joy ,our finger now clenched and intertwined.
to her i reminisince , for the night.
tying my hopes , way up high.
for if they fall i shall not shy,
for i have lived , all my life.
in her with whom will listen to me.
in her i find my company.
for if she knew , i think she does.
that i would cherish her and all of us..
now that this dream i woke up from.
keeps reapeating, i see no form.
i saw this M in so many girls .
yet each one seem to seem to fail.
my heart now , so twisted and dry.
longs for her kiss , her breath divine.
so as i fade into the dusk.
i fall asleep with my mind , just.
this dream shall repeat ,i repeat.
until i felt my true love's kiss.

to whom do i serve?

2009-06-26T23:38:00.000-07:00

who am i?
where am i going.?
i sat on this same wooden bench a fortnight ago , contemplating my existence.
this to some might sound like a satire , but to me , this is my very own sos.
i look out onto orion's belt as i stroke bits of brown wood laquerings od the bench.
as i glance down , a a dark eery ambience surrounds me , engulfs me.
the wind, rushing through my short hair.
i rest my head on my palms.
what is my purpose here?
was i sent here to preach the word of god?
was i to be a guiding light for others?
was i to make people proud?
what should i do?
i stand up , stretching my fatique arms, as i move closer to the edge of the cliff.
i am not perfect.
i am flawed in almost every way.
i love life, but what does that mean to me any more?
i love myself, but what am i , if not an empty shell containing a lost soul?
whom do i answer to?
i sit alone.
the wind blows , stronger this time. a nearby tree crackles in agony as i talk to myself.
this feeling of emptiness, it started not more than two weeks ago.
i had friends then.
now all i have is myself.
i think aloud, perhaps all i will never lose is myself.
yes that is true.
i stand now, at the very edge of the cliff.
i shout aloud , projecting my voice as far as my diaphragm could ,
out far past the amber lights of the nearby town in the valley.
" I serve me!"
this i say as i take a step forward.
the blows now strong as ever.
the old wooden bench tumbled over in the might of the gush.
ah the rush of the wind
the rush of the mind.
my last thoughts as i dove down to earth.

the apology.

2009-06-26T07:14:00.000-07:00

good evening, my friend.
i hope you can still consider me as a friend.
i realise now that i have indeed wronged you.
you were right all along ,whilst i was just too stubborn to listen.
now i've practically drIven a stake through our friendship.
i treasure you.
yet time and Time again you talk .
your word so perfect.
yet whom you speak of , whom you describe is so not worthy.
i hAve seen your crush.
i have seen him beneath the vivdly painted "knight-in-shinning-armour" facade he has lied to you with.
whereas me in preventing the matrimony between an angel and a demon.
i am taken for as your enemy.
i understand it pains you the way i describe him.
that i know. that i understand.
i know you will not forgive me so easily.
but all i have to offer onto you is a listening ear when you are alone.
a shoulder on which to cry on,
a complement when you feel useless.
you are not useless.
i am not trying to justify my doings,
only , it is my onus to say this.
i am sorry.

ambitions..

2009-06-26T05:09:00.000-07:00

who will you be?
a pirate ,
free as long as there is wind on the horizon, and sails on his ship
a doctor,
who heals others and not to harm them , to stop others' bleeding.
a teacher ,
to inspire the next generation?
a warrior ,
who fights for what he loves.
a gambler,
who weaves lies and looks into the cards of his enemies
a dreamer,
who sleeps?
a diver?
for pearls

whatever you might choose to be.
wherever you are ,
i will stay right here.
wait, wanting, i'm yours for the taking

the metamorphosis

2009-06-26T00:02:00.000-07:00

the voices , they call me.
they ask me as i lie here.
they talk to me.
they question my existance.
they mock me.
their words hurting me .
i start building up my own defences.
i start building my home.
all around me.
tough as steel.
the voices seem to die down alittle.
i seal myself in.
these empty spaces, these distance spaces as i hide
facing the hollow walls.
mocked all my life.
in danger all my life.
i have been running.
no longer .
i will face them .
yes . yes i will face them.
on my own.
this i say as i stretch out
destroying my house in the process.
now i stand .
on the same plateau whereby i wallowed in self pity
now is my time.
while half of the world is still asleep.
i take flight.....

poetic lies

2009-06-24T06:04:00.000-07:00

like trapped prisoners, we tie the to our word
the are sealed into what we do.
our works often passed for judgement.
at some point in time one such prisoner escaped the canvas he was painted on
consumes and at the same time captivates its audience.
a gentle curtsy , before the ballet.
from arial fonts it leaps our a sluggish attitude that almost definitely bores the audience.
a feeling of nonchalence , of going through the motion.of going with the flow.
trapped deeped and sewn tightly in reinforced, reitterated words that which we speak , that which we boast.
in malicious cheers and celebrations, these prisoners release themselves.
just when the ethanol reaches the guards of our lips ,poisoning the cerebral cortex.
these prisoners run amok, ruining everything its master created.
these prisoners.

are our emotions.

another ones' going to the abbattoir

2009-06-23T02:43:00.000-07:00

yes yes..
go on , go on, right along with the rest of your friends.
filthy pieces of lard ... the scum of the universe , desecrating our pure human gene pool.
poisoning our mind with thoughts of a better place , a plaace of hope
no longer. for you will now end this torment ,trickling down my spine
like ice-blue ooze paralysing the cardiac muscles , freezing the median septum.
my jaw opens wide , not as if to devour , more as to scream in agony of pain as you
..
yes you.
you holding my heart
gripping it with rusty pen-knives , and causing it to fall like shreds
no more.my heart will grow stronger.
i will grow stronger.
i will not trust anyone.
i will not trust , you.

H1N1 cases could rise further as students return to schools after holidaying in flu-hit countries. How should schools cope?

2009-06-21T23:16:00.000-07:00

current poll status as of 2.16pm , 22nd june 2009
extend holidays (89 %)
conduct lessons via Internet (7 %)
students return to schools as scheduled (3 %)

Good afternoon dear viewers.
as shown above, most people have voted for an extension in the holidays, due to the recent outbreak of the H1N1 influenza.
in my personal opinion, i feel that schools should reopen.
a holiday is meant for students and teachers to rest and have " a break" from their hectic lifestyle of mugging and teaching .
on the other hand, school closure is meant to prevent infected students or school staff members from spread the disease.
by extending the holiday, would only mean that students would have lesser time to prepare for their national examinations.
in my opinion , all three of the suggestions can be considered extreme.
i propose that schools do not close , and instead reopen , or conduct block periods so that students in their graduating year would be given a chance to study with the guidiance of their teachers.
on that same note , i would also agree with the suggestion to conduct lessons online, for the students whom have unfortunately fallen ill due to the influenza A
.though it is a known fact that online learning is that much harder ,without the care and concern of a teacher.i feel this is the Best compromise.
this virus , is a test of will power.
i feel that those of us whom want very badly to do well during their national examinations should do all that they can to do well
whatever is worth doing is most certainly worth doing well .
we MUST perservere, we must stand united.
no!. schools should not be closed , and we should not let the world pass us by just because of a virus!

2009-06-21T08:10:00.000-07:00

right now,
the world is spinning, but i am still
right now,
you are partying , but i am crying alone.
right now,
people are celebrating , and laughing in mocking joy as they pat each other on their backs in commeration of the victories , but not me..
right now,
i am planning
i am fighting
alone , yes
unarmed , yes
against insurmountable odds , yes
an up hill challenge
a hard place ..
pressure welling up inside of me...
i need to tell someone..
something anything
but there is no one on my side ...
for i am alone..
i am a one man army , bent and twisted
against my will...
fighting for what i stand for , not just to survive , but to live..
i live life ont for the sake of living it , but because i believe i have a purpose
i believe that i was created to accomplish something no matter what .
i will prove my worth
each step is now a long jump
i fail onli to make myself stronger
watch out future , here i come

hush now my child

2009-06-21T06:23:00.000-07:00

to my guardian angel who watched as i grew up
who stood by my as i grew stronger.
whom i have learnt to depend on .
i owe you so much.
yet your word so cold, so harsh .
shatter my bones , my heart.
what other's say do not matter ..
stick and stones may not break my bones.
but your whispers can silence me forever.

i am not you

2009-06-18T07:50:00.000-07:00

i am not you.
i admit it was foolish of me to have tried to be you .
you are you.
i am me.
you are an angel.
and i am just the guy next door.
i do not speak perfect word with flawless grammar.
i am human.
i am flawed.
i do not believe in love
no longer.
love is like a beautiful porcelaine vase.
well moulded and beautifully painted.
it is brittle and hollow
lovely to those who see it and not have it.
but beware , for when you drop it and when it breaks,
its shards will cut those attempting to put it together.
..
to you my dear friend.
i am glad to have you as my firnd and no further.
for it is very dark , the place that i come from .
yes it is indeed.
for it is darkest beneath the lamp..
being near you ..
...
but none of these matter ..
put the shame of guilt on me , and let me bask in your wholeness.
.

gth cursed beloved

2009-06-13T04:45:00.000-07:00

i see you have found anew one to corrupt
i learn never to trust those around me

blood is the only thing that is true
blood is the only thing that must be spilled
life flowing out of my viens in tiny
drip.. drip .. drip
life in red liqid rubies running down your hands
shatter feelings, shattered face..
feel the shame of your disgrace
rolling down your back
with loaded arms..
so hold on to me pretty lady
if you want to fly
i'm gonna melt that fever sugar
burning through those eye
..

grab on to my red cape as start to fly
burning breadcrumb trails
as i bomb their brick houses

bacause magic beans wont grow
carpets will never fly
mermaids are extinct and forever will remain
this world in its sins
corrupt the souls of new borns

you need only to look closely at the brightly coloured paint
slowly.. peeling off of houses as twisted creatures in all their armour massacre the plants
and crops of your neighbours fields
you and your cursed army
along with your fake lies and misbeliefs can go to hell..
cus i aint intending on following you there..
go crawl into your hole and decompose..
let nature heal herself while you can rot away for all i care
..
for i have found someone new to take your place..
some one incorruptible..
the perfect star sapphire........

the scouring flames

2009-06-11T00:22:00.000-07:00

we folloow like mindless leaders
misconceptualizing all feelings as happiness
a love so strong yet brittle in nature
that compels us that makes us
wan-ting to love wanting to fight
a revolution of noise and music
without which we may indeed live better
fluttering in the breeze like butterflies
little love notes on which our imagination takes flight
living in a world devoid of colours
living in a world of misconceptualise vagi-limony
sweeps of platinium engulfs us like a sea of warm smiles
a day of rekoning
a day of strong winds and green flames
of bittersweet symphonies and "i want your money " demands
here i stand
the twisted behemoths and dull gold armour.....
come now my love and take me away..
out of the endless collisions

i am yours to command

2009-06-10T05:08:00.001-07:00

my princess..
i am yours to command ..
send me against your enemies...
send me to protect..
allow me to die on your behalf..
allow me to live on your behalf
..
grant me the strenght of your will
grant me the power of your speech..
may all around you bow their heads in respect ..
you are the chosen one ..
i am your servant ..
twist me ..
bend me..
break my spirit ..
and crush my will..
make me feel no pain ..
make my will be yours..
move my arms as if i were your puppet..
i thus bow my head ,
and swear fealty to your league..

festive nights

2009-06-08T21:44:00.000-07:00

with withered bones and wrinkled skin
like a dark mass of shadowy matter
floating silently through the majestic doors
flitting through the stretched benches of the church
under the cloak of darkness.
as he shys away from the pale blue moon light casted through the minute windows of the corridors
he walks faster ..
wishing his heart would be more silent than the loud booming that it caused upon his eardrums
his pale skin , his dark maroon cloak, his blood shot eyes.
he drift now aimlessly and chances upon a family ..
the room filled with laughter
and a warm amber glow as a man kisses his wife on the cheek as their children run about a tiny tables giggling to themselves.
his pupils dilate.
he sees clearly..
she whom should belong to him ..
his blood shot eyes turn a uniform blackness that spread outwards from the iris ,
polluting the sclera.
his heart stops..
he holds his breath .
but as he tries to breath out ..
he realises that he can no longer feel anything
he can no longer smell anything..
his mouth tastes parch like dessert sand on a hot afternoon .
he tries to scream but all his efforts lead only to a burning sensation in his throat ..
he walks out of the church
weeping tears of arsenic that seem to freeze the sides of his cheeks..
he flits silently back among the people and crwod in the carnival ..
clowns mocking him,
jugglers trying to hit him with the fiery torches they throw into the air.
his animal friends being whipped silly by idiots in tight costumes..
yet ..
what is this?
a girl?
crying in the corner of the festivals square? her bluee eyes winking up at his own..
who are you he asks?

in comparison, ..

2009-06-08T02:53:00.000-07:00

when life is a race ,i am a mazda fully geared for it .. Yet trying my best to match her speed of an aero-dynamic ferrari
when life is a bed of roses, she is the most perfect undisturbed rose flower causing all other flowers to shy away in shame as the look envying her perfect crimson petals.while i , a withering torn that hurts people.
when life is a war , she is the medic saving lives in an air-conditioned ambulance while i am just a foot soldier charging with my rifle..
i am slower , i have more flaws , this is worth fighting for ... An uphill task .. My favourite kind of challenge

(-less)

2009-06-05T05:28:00.000-07:00

she was the reason i thought the sky is blue
she made me think she was my sun
she gave the perfect green grasses their colour and their shape..
she gave me a hope .. a dream .. a vision..
now shes gone.. and i can see through my transperant new clothes..
i see
the sky is only blue due to ozone and pollutants..
the sun is only bright due to explosions between matter and anti matter
the leaves are green but are lined with blades that cut our hands..

rocks seem harder
love seems meaningless
she has faded
i have faded..
zombifying the life out of so many ..
lifeless.
a world devoid of emotions ..
devoid of colour..
just blank empty faces..
staring at each other..
what point is there?
why live on?

visual imperfection

2009-06-04T05:08:00.000-07:00

i see tall veridian green grasses waving in the breeze,
their dried yellowed endings waving to me in unison
as if fans with torchlights at a concert.
i look upon them , smiling as i try to catch one of the yellow dried up ends.
yet they seem to be untouched by my reach..
i cannot feel the breeze they feel.
i can smell them ..
they are so real yet blocked away from me by a screen
ahhh..
what a marvellous invention to toture all of us as we look at reality flash before our eyes , yet unable to feel it
unable to smell it
unable to kiss it..
this i think slumping back into a cream coloured sofa..
though it is old, and a bit uncomfortable, it is real ........

the hermit

2009-06-02T06:23:00.000-07:00

there was a hermit i once knew.
he walks alone on these sandy beaches.
he talks to noone..
to him his life revolves around him and that people will come and go,
but for him,
old as time,
he will remain.
he once said this unto me," my life is as fast as a jet, friends are life the engines,
or turbines perhaps, those turbines that spin too slowly and only weigh me down ,will be discarded."
now he drags his shell across the pearly sand beaches.
hoping that as painful as the abrasions may be , that they may wear down the scars of his lost friends.
friends whom betrayed him.
friends of whom have destroyed him from the inside.
he listens to noone , but the sweet whispers of the wind,
guiding him on.
yes, the wind is his friend.

to my friend

2009-06-01T06:01:00.000-07:00

to my friend..
you were my friend..
i cherished you..
adored you..
but now..
you have hurt me time and time again..
you have outlived your purpose..
i do not care for who you are or who you were..
Alpha male lion..
you have thus taken my trophy for the last time.
this time..
i will fight back..
i will bare my claws and expose my canines..
you should avoid me..
for i am but a concentrated mixture of violence wrath and uncontrolled rage..
i will duel with you..
this prize means more to me then anything i own..
i will fight for it ..
to the deaths..
are you willing to risk as much as i am ?
coward!!!
there is no escape for you..
you will pay...
i shall be the one to drag you into the fiery infernoes of the underworld..
let's fight..
this i say ..
as i make an elaborate bow, as my dark black iris turn a bright shade of crimson

if on a winter's night a traveller --- spoilers

2009-05-29T01:12:00.000-07:00

if on a winter's night a traveller , outside ther town of malbork, leaning from the steep slope without fear of wind or vertigo , looks down in the gathering shadows in a network of lines that intersect, on the carpet of leaves illuminated by the moon around an empty grave -- what story down there awaits its end?

mother gaia

2009-05-28T02:09:00.000-07:00

i twitch my eye as i raise my left forearm to block out the rays of light as i drift aimlessly in a lemon yellow kayak.
i shuffle restlessly as curious seagulls take turns to rest on the bow of my craft.
i lean back , and smile foolishly to myself as i stretch my aching arms..
no longer remembering where i was going..
no one to remind me..
just me , my kayak, and the vast areas of clear blue waters below me, seeing schools of multi-coloured fishes dancing eagerly in the open shallows..
star fishes and even more unique yellow , blue , orange creatures circulating the coral reefs..
once in a while, i look out in to the horizon and see the shore with people laughing together ..
all their false smiles and lying lips..
fake eyelids with fake make up..
fake status or class ranking..
then i think to my self ..
this is the only true beauty left in this world ..
γη μητέρων

she's the girl

2009-05-25T06:31:00.000-07:00

who is she?
the one that i've been dreaming of ..
the one who came to rescue me..
and save me from destruction..
who is she..
with marble skin and gold thread hair
i fall in love ..
as a wave of emotions sweep across me..
the way she looks right pass me..
do you thinnk..
that some day she'll notice me..
not just a stranger that she'll see on the streets..
she is nothing but the girl next door to me..
look past my window and thats whom i hope to see..
a lovely face and un matched body..
......
......
she's the girl next door
she'll show you the world and so much more..
she'll lift you up whem ur feeling down..
peck u on the cheek just to tell you she's around..
she'll make you smile..
she'll make you cry and soon she'll be the only thing to fill your life...

she's the girl ..

master are you my master?

2009-05-24T07:17:00.001-07:00

i stare blankly out into the abyss
not knowing that the abyss is staring back at me ..
slowly its jaws wrap around me.
silky smooth yet iron strong threads grab me my the limbs and throat.
i choke..not knowing what is happening?
a bright light glows in the distance and i see him..
my master
a river of agony and confundlement washes over his face , and drowns his emotions..
to set me free would be to destroy me ..yet to keep me safe would be to entrap me..
what should he do?
what would he do?
do not fret over me master.
i live only to serve and to glorify your name.
i am but a pawn on your checkered board..
save your armies..
i am not worth your protection..
let me take the blame for my own destruction.
yet give me the strenght to fight on to glorify you .
one last time.
my master

different?

2009-05-24T06:52:00.000-07:00

You are staring blankly into your computer. or perhaps this isn't your computer. maybe one of those tiny email gizmo of tommorrow's techy geeks..
but anyhow. you are reading this..
squinting your eyes to read the works of this innocent post
you now mock the author for those whom truly know how guilty of crime the author really is ..
how this blog set up is just a mere facade that eludes young and old on how guilty the author is ..
the author ..yes him of whom instructs me ..he of whom instructs you ..and the rest of us
.. no the author is not me ..
.. no the author is not human..
.. the author merely script writes everything that hasd happenned, is going to happen , and even now as you realise how impossibly lousy he is making my grammar sound in a desperate but truely beyond hope of repair's immitation of "on a winter's night a traveller'
you wonder how this post is of any importance to you ..
why is it so different from the others..
why is it that the author hides his emotions in encrypted vocabulary sprawled over the page...
why does he talk as if he is someone else..
you sit back..
mocking this webpage as it seems plain , dull coloured , and has the what-look-like an-obituary picture of the author himself..
there is no music ..
there is no colour ..
just light showing you a point of view that seems rather unusual to most ..
this is not just any post..
this is a charm ..
the kind like those little shoe-laced bracelets you used to wear and make for your girlfriends..
yes .. you may find this very amusing .. or on the other hand a-bloody-waste-of-my-time.
but ..this is unique .. you realize now that iit is indeed very different..

sunkisses

2009-05-22T02:05:00.000-07:00

Here i lie eyes closed, pressed gently against the soft green cushion of grasses
flourishing in abundance in this natural sanctuary.My very own Eden.
i can feel warm rays bathing my skin , giving a hint of copper toning where the sunrays land.
A gentle mid-autumn breeze gently gently carassing my bodice..
a vague involuntary smile catches the side on my lips..
my heavy clothes grumbling in the wind..
The undescribable tastes in fresh flowers and perfect leaves seducing my nostrils..
inhaling mouthfuls of rich air that quickly fills my lungs and energizes my body..
i have never felt so alive..
so connected to the earth whom bore my arms and feets..
the sun whom gave me eyes to see..
the trees whom made me whole ..

Here i stand,eyes squinted against the blistering afternoon sun reflected of bronze shields miles away..
battle cries , as a dramatic war scene grow larger and larger..
coming at me..
i am alone...
my sheild of self perserverence and control hangs grudgingly on my aching shoulders ..
beads of sweat burning my eyes and torching my skin....
my spear of Honour now blunted at its tip , takes its last victim ,a subject far out behind the enemies first line of defences..
my forearm burns of the effort as it draws its sword ..
Ah! thy sword of Faith ..
light as a feather , swift as a swallow, sharp as fresh cut glass , strong as diamonds..
swishing through the mangled bodies of my enemies ..
on at a time ..
rages surges through my veins ...

Gone are the halcyon days of the grass lands...but at last ..
it seems i can make it..it seems i can return my land , my people , myself..
to the time where a man could walk freely on the streets without the fear of assualts..
where women were no longer discriminated against but respected and cherished ..
where a father could raise his son himself and not loose him to the imperial armies..
i will fight..
but now .. i am no longer alone...

beams of sunlight shining down upon us..
warming the corpse cold bodies of my friends..

battle cries

2009-05-17T08:00:00.000-07:00

the time is now ..
the champions are us..
we hold the key to our salvation..
liberation of all of mankind..
we ...
through this battles we must march to the gates of hell,
and unleash a fury noone has ever seen or felt before..
for our homes...
for our families...
for the gentle mid summer breeze that kisses our foreheads on scorching afternoons
most of all
for our selves..
join me my brothers..
as we unleash our true potential on our enemies..
as we prove our worth to the one's we love...
this is victory...
a glorious death...
for freedom!!
for liberation!!
for a future brighter than anything else!!

the medical officer

2009-05-16T05:05:00.000-07:00

healing people..
well i guess that's my job..
here have a seat..

sometimes i wonder what the heck am i doing here in this freezing ambulance so far away from the war..
bright sparkles of rockets and grenades bellowing in the distance..
war cries accompanied by cries of wounded soldiers who leg had been severed and blown
few feets away from himself..
sigh...
i am to take care and save lives .. but why is it that there seem to be as many bullets
as bandages in my cosy ambulance...
as many casualities as survivors on both sides of this messy chess board
...
sigh ..
i am the most valued asset to my company..
yet i am as valuable an asset to the enemy if they capture me...
what is going on?
who am i?
savior? or murderer?

the fighter

2009-05-16T04:49:00.000-07:00

in uniforms
with the speed of a ninja at my command ....
jumping higher .. jumping further .. landing softer..
quiet...
crouching as i stalk towards my prey...
weak vital points of the human body running through my head...
the temple..the larynx..the groin..the stomach..the chest...
how do i proceed?
a strike kick to the head?
no no no you'll just fall over and sweep my legs
a punch to the temple?
effective .. but it has to be very accurate..
a kick to the groin?
nah that child's play...plus there's probably a lot of protection there since you
are expecting an assualt..
jumping side-kick?
too risky.. one sound and you'll duck to avoid it..
a leap to the side followed by a turning kick to the chest
yeah not bad

or on the other hand i could ... not play fairly..
"bang!"
the firing pin strikes the cartridge..
straight into the temple..
killing you instantly...
ahh much simpler ..

the painter

2009-05-16T04:04:00.000-07:00

come come ..
sit down ...
let me paint your picture...

i see you as a canvas vast and white
holding within untold imagination ,
capable of being anything i wish it to be ..

first strokes...
colour pencils...
hetching...cross hetching..
making sure every detail of yourself is reflected on my canvas..
but the perspective is wrong...
the eyes.. the nose .. the ears..the mouth..the cheeks..

my palette dirtied from my last use,
squishy squashy paint oozing through tubes..
ahhh!!
bright pretty colours...yet none of them i can use..
mixing
vermilion with crimsonfor thy lips ... all full and luscious..
yellow orchre and burnt umber for thy hair hanging in light bounces on the head
burnt umber with a pinch of ultra marine for thy eyes...
veridian with sap green for the natural vegetation just behind you, while you sit on my wooden stool...
and alast.. the most important...
thy face...
vermilion for luster
lemon yellow for brightness
burnt sienna as the base
burnt umber for shadows
ultramarine for outlines
titanium white for highlights..
wet points ..dry points...
emphasis
contrast
tonal values

a multitude of factors running through my head...
not just artist are we ...
we are scientist... mathematician..inspiration for the world
we hide our meanings in our strokes ...
where is the focus what is the surroundings...
ahh ...
such meanings .. profound theorem trapped on a piece of plain white canvas..
a picture paints a thousand words ..

our job is to find the words with meanings .. the words that fit ...
the words that best describe...you....

uptown girl- westlife

2009-05-16T03:58:00.000-07:00

A: " i'm sorry, i don't go out with guys like....."

B:" With guys like me.."

Uptown girl
She's been living in her uptown world
I bet she never had a back street guy
I bet her mama never told her why

I'm gonna try for an uptown girl
She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now she's looking for a downtown man
That's what I am

And when she knows what
She wants from her time
And when she wakes up
And makes up her mind

She'll see I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love with an uptown girl
You know I've seen her in her uptown world
She's getting tired of her high class toys
And all her presents from her uptown boys
She's got a choice

Uptown girl
You know I can't afford to buy her pearls
But maybe someday when my ship comes in
She'll understand what kind of guy I've been
And then I'll win

And when she's walking
She's looking so fine
And when she's talking
She'll say that she's mine

She'll say I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love
With and uptown girl
She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now she's looking for a downtown man
That's what I am

Uptown girl
She's my uptown girl
You know I'm in love
With an uptown girl

My uptown girl
You know I'm in love
With an uptown girl
My uptown girl
You know I'm in love
With an uptown girl
My uptown girl

wars

2009-05-13T07:49:00.000-07:00

i walk these empty halls...
days have past ... i can still hear the wars
sound of battlecries ,blood gushing out like over flowing pipes...
my mind screams aloud contrasting the silence in these empty lights...
fingers twitched. whinning as i try to complete ....
futil efforts tried ...
this war is over ... how did we fight?
honor thy words ...
we fought as hard as we could ...
now ...ready ourselves for the next one ....
PRELIMS.....