posers

I have smeared my honour ..
As the golden crown that is my dignity was tarnished that day
I realised nothing was ever to be the same ..
I bled myself and the would cuts deep ...
The honour to call you my brothers ... I have lost ..
The fight with the demons within .. I have lost ..
Given in to temptations ... given in to what I knew was wrong
The horrors I battle in my head each day ...
Your meager earth bound problems mean nothing ...
Your little cries and pleas for good luck ..
What is luck but not a figment of imagination
The truth is our honour was never ours alone ..
It never has been ...
It instead has always been the belonging of those who loved us..
And I foolishly corrupted it ...
Like a blinded general not listening to his troops and charging straight into
Certain death ....
No more voices call out to me .. I am all alone ..
The world start caving in .. and I am at the eye of the vortex
All alone ... all broken...
You write fantasies of a dark post apocalyptic world you do not know or understand
So go ahead and lead your stupid barbie doll lives .. and conform to the communistic regime
For you romanticised the worst feeling of all ..
Helplessness...
A feeling that hangs heavily on my shoulders ..
The truth is hidden within the lines... and you will never see me in the same light again ...

to recite as the coffin closes

A mistake ...
Our namesake ..
The future seems to be ripped away at the very fabric of an emotion gone astray
Taken by surprise
As I open pandora's box ..
Peeking to see It's treasures ,
Needless to say the darkness over took me and I could not shut it in time ..
The ailments rampaged my body
as I was forced to pay literally and metaphorically
For my sins ...
It seemed so wrong and I knew it ...
She was so corrupt and I knew it ...
Like the emotional tilt one experiences after a bad beat in poker
I walked as a soulless body ... I knew not of reason but only of purpose ..
My purpose from that day on changed ...
As an inferno flame burns hay ... the events were irreversible ....
The life I knew had changed ... the truth I thought had escaped me ...
5 times over 10 times to go .. or I shall take my sins and shame to the grave
No one need know .. no one needs to bear my burden ...
So each day as I strive forward I race towards my grave .. but I will die knowing
I lived a good life .. I fought the good fight ...
Pray for me ... as I turn to god in my darkest hours ...
The one thing I regretted in this life thus far ...
"In order to banish lust from oneself ... one must hate it as much as god does "
Pray for me my brothers
Pray for me my friends ....
Keep my secret ...
To the grave may it be told ......

the inevitable must not be prevented

Clouds of turmoil the swirl above me ..
The air choked of the thousands of rotting souls..
The days of glory ended ..
War broke out and missiles flew .. and as the drew
Across the once blue sky .. the earth beneath it died away ..
No one on the ground survived the apocalypse ...
A band of brothers took to the skies .. immortal angels who soon took flight
Lift off the toxic earth and cower the skies in an airship soo high above
Flintlock pistols and naval canons ... white sails on helium balloons ...
Floating above the carcass which once were our lands
Wait the captain stirs as he descends his ship through the crowd
A mysterious movement so fast and agile ... he looks through his crack looking glass
A black raven circling beneath him .....
He descends lower and lower
Little did he know this would be the last he would see of his ship ever again .

someone out there for me .

It's in the middle of the night
People running , trying to fight ...
No words can express .. the feeling of losing deep down inside
I feel that no one understands me .. I watch as time swing before me
I almost breakdown and cry .....
I perch alone on this darkwood tree .. falcon of the dark
All the lands below me look up and know they fear me ...
Buy I feel so lonely and cold inside ....
I wait awhile obsessed with the blood lust ... I cannot find I cannot fight
.. so as the moons pass above me and the critters they call out to me .
They can't seem to understand how I bleed out inside ..
So I wait until my talons give way for the raven to come save my life
A bird of prey .. another one just like me .. if you're out there please hear my cries
Oh no ....
And then the blood lust it eats and comrades me ... I fall from so waay up high ..
As the shattered heart begins to heal all the bones in the flesh are no longer real
And the fog lifts .. I was just wasting my time ...

another one bites the dust

take a look around
see the tortured faces and torched places...
see them cry hear them shout..
pull the trigger set the fires..
loot the poor
feast on a poor man's last dime..
sins of the past will reclaim you..
the hate you harbor consumes you..
scorching sunlight..
forcing you to hide..
hear the new light..
see the clear moonlight..
as the fangs show
you shall bleed too.
you shall give your only life to never die...
you steal the souls for you have none
crusifixes
shy your eyes...
stench of the garlic fumes your nose..
pale white skin so cold it burns in sunlight
the day is lost, the night is yours..
a new life..
a new death..
hope is once again reborned..
no life after..
no picture perfect honeymoons..
across the darkness. the sea of doom
the one who betrayed us shall not elude..
forces stronger
we will rise again..the world is yours now..
fight now..
brothers.....................

He lay alone in the chilly solitary of which bounds his freedom
he reminisce the night of the four moons..
where this had all begun..
it was probably daylight by now.. he could feel the walls of his cell beginning to warm up..
his solitude was dark and damp.. there had been no other source of light except from a stray glimmer of flickering amber that seeped through a tiny crack in the walls.. it was using this ray that he was able to seperate his sleeping quarters from where he ate or defecated..
days seemed to pass like months.. his idle mind was on the brink of snapping..
a faint whisper..
click*
the door slides open...
a sudden rush of light momentarily blinded him..
he is escorted by women out of his cell into a narrow alley way..
his shoulder he now notices bore a distinct bite mark unlike any creature he had encountered before, and it emitted a faint blue hue under the scorching sun light that lit up e path through intricately designed window..
" odprte " one of them whispered..
and the large rock wall infront of them rolled ajar.
as they made their way onwards, he asks who his liberators were but each attempt seemed to yield no understandable response.
...
after hours of travelling, he approached what seemed to be a courtroom..
as he stepped forward , millions of questions popped in his head all at once..
and then he saw her.. all other questions seemed unimportant as he walked towards her , flabbergasted.

The traveller.. part1

the nights grow weary on a this desolate plateau
the way is lost and so is the traveller's mind..
he searches onwards with caution controlling each step of his..
a full moon tonight...
he looks up to see pale blue rays piercing the otherwise pitch black canopy..
a step..
he looks around ..
searching desperately to see who or what else would be sharing this lonely night brisk walk with him..
a woman..
skin of ivory hue, threading effortlessly towards our traveller.
he holds up his double barrelled shot gun and demands identification..
it is at this point she looks at his..
moonstruck eyes glistening as it reflect a faint stray glitter from a tiny fading star...
she rushes to him
throws down his weapon..
and for once he let's his guard down.
her lips so sweet it seemed stain with cherries..
like polished ebony her eyes glare into his...
as she whispers " are you afraid of me?"
"oh no.. i am many things" said the traveller " but not afraid... no fear of death.. and certainly .. no fear for you"
"then take me now.."......
she holds him closer
their kissing have since become more intense.
the traveller forgets himself.. who he was...
as they lay to the soft earth...
soft cries as if the forest herself had been watching the couple..
now as his vision blurs out.. he falls into a deep sleep...

<< to be continued>>

may this be my last regret..

as i dash veridian across an empty sheet of papyrus ,
i reminisce a faint memory.
i remember my friends of whom sat beside me as we rapped along to the song remember the name
clear blue skies or tinted overcast, i remember that it had indeed been the best days of my life.
now as the days flash before me turning into weeks and months like the flip of a page of an old vatican diary.
i dream each night of the times when we were masters of our life.. no bonds .. no tight schedule..just a limitless bus card and wishful thinking..both of which are items of the past..
the days are short..
yet i can see no end to this purgatory...
drop by drop as it slips away ...
no longer vivid.. no longer real...
like a spiral , webs of memories are sucked into small glass capsules..
achievements quantified by pieces of paper..
now as competition reaches breaking point..
the new team advance on unconquered territory with their rifles pointed ahead and their pistols to the temple of the guy next to you.
the piece of paper now filled with colour ages from within..
and begins to crack..
a spill of alcohol and a concentrated beam of warm afternoon sun..
all the foundation and colour turn an awkward shade of umber...
what i will miss when this is all over...

lost
alone in solitude
nothing to do....
a grey-ing effect on the life i have been leading for the past week
one thing remains constant.
i have been a parasite..
i have been of no use to myself or the block
i watch as my body shrivels away in waste
i look on...
a tight grip about my throat....
what lifesaver is he , if he cannot even save his own life...
i turn around...
this world is becoming more and more cloudy...
more and more hazy
the world i live in is warping
i can no longer stand by and watch
something must be done..
and as i surge forward, the metal chain that is my body restrict me
i am helpless..
devour me.....

brothers, i miss you.

is this betrayal?
every morning i dawn a shade of umber, and think to myself...
what have i become?
where are my brothers?
why have we deserted them?
a wave of disappointment washes over my soul-less being.
what ever happened ?
our beliefs so strong .
our hopes so high.
what ever happened my brothers?
why have we disbanded
such selfish reasons i have to have left you all.
every word i speak , every slang i use.
i do so with anger
angry at the fact that i no longer possess the equivalent control over my command of
words. but instead, have been relegated to illustrate ideas using broad and generic terminology.
my brothers, them whom i have trained with.
them whom i have led with.
i miss you all.
frustrated as i may be at the fact that i have chosen to left you for mere aesthetic features of a hollow walls and glass ceilings.
how shallow i must be, to have been unable to look past these and see exactly how meaningless life is.
i still find my sense of belonging and rooted-ness to my alma mater , and yet sense no connection between myself and where i go.
brothers, i miss you.

solitary hopes , unified dreams

my private realm of silence
a place of my own
i drape the windows of agony a deep vermilion hue
and colour the floors of anguish with bright yellow
i imagine world of peace and sanctuary
a lonely, peaceful world.
a place i can be myself in
no shame
no inglory
no more of being looked down upon or despised
i believe in a world that is just and fair
whereby everyone would live in equality and in happiness
cohesion and unifications
an amalgamation of all my deepest thoughts and hopes of feelings
i set up alternatives to search to look to wonder about
how my life was meant to be like
and how it fitted into the grand scheme of things
a whirlpool of thoughts engulf me
and within it
i gasp a breath of fresh sulphur
the demon vanquished
the world saved
then again i realise its just me.

i realise how insecure my pedestel has always been, and crouch away into the dark side.

i cry a river of crimson larva,
my heart it shatters.
the world son fragile how superficial.
nothing goes further then the occasional hello.
the strength of unity of brotherhood .
where has it gone.
my brothers you have my backing, for i will support you in all you do.
my fellow friends, what have we become , but just a mere smudge upon the wall of existence
i turn towards my reflection clear beads of tears rolling down my cheeks.
so beautiful so colorful
yet with the slightest touch, it shatters beyond hope of repair.
where is the line that which we must draw?
our boundaries.
i can no longer see wrong from right.
the blood drain it causes poor decision making.
in hampered sanity, i limp forward.
the noun "i" used solely to depict the fact that which the superficiality pains me to the extent that which i can no longer consider us using a collective adjective.
alone
alone

as they once suggested .ALL these frail twine supports cannot ever be considered in conparison to one single steel cable

we're saving our own lives.

its a chance for us.
a chance for all of man kind.
united as one.
helping each and every one of us.
no barriers of religion.
no barriers of nationality.
no hatred for one another.
a brotherhood of humanity
for the world because of the world
save the wounded
heal the sick
take care of those around you whom require your aid.
no false pretenses
no hidden agendas.
just a cohesive human race
standing together
leaning upon each other for support.
no lies
no hate
no wrath
no greed
no lust
no vanity
no jealousy
no more are we one person
let us move beyond that
now we shall be..
Humanity's helping hand.

demons they haunt me

i fear for you. i stare in horror at the things i see through my night black eyes.
a monster beyond the void is haunting my every move.
i see its face in every mirror, or pool of water
as trains pass me by , he grips my soul
he never lets go.
waiting for a time when i slip.
he will possess my body
claiming it in his rights
a beast i become
that which the 7 cardinals will all be broken
the moral pillar will be shaken
but i shall persist on.
keeping my core beliefs.
with the lords strength he banishes this demon from my soul
he grants me forgiveness for my weaknesses
he grants me strength and eternal life
it is in him i realise
it is through my lords power i am who i am
and the only way i can be who i aim to be.

the truth so sad it pains so hard
the wakening of my still beating heart
so fly forth forward
so cry on the clouds the world will be your comfort
your mind runs wild . its the first time people have noticed it.
its a whole new playing field that which i am not ready for.
so watch this fall,
into it all..
going pass my mind's past erasing all my prejudice against the world.
and in no time.
i hope our voices are heard.
that you will accept my apology.

to her with the sleek bronze tail.

as the last of the golden beams retreated for the day,
the hour long darkness began to pollute the cerulean atmosphere
..
down by a deserted alley, a tiny creature begins her nightly routine.
stalking up worn down fences..
the nights these days are getting colder she thought to herself, prancing gingerly through heaps of rubble..
the pale blue moon, whining in the empathetic cresent not a care for the many down below. selfishly guarding the golden rays of light from us down below.
her skin of perfect pink ivory, guarded by a coat of gold stripped bronze fur...
her ears twitching in the beautiful midnight moon-breeze.
she senses a faint smell of sulfur in the air.
her spine freezes.
she recognizes the smell, that which left her orphan all these years.
dark shadows appear in the distant clearings..
she screeches and bolts away.
the shadows seem to be gaining on her quickly.
she makes a sharp turn..
heart ponding like a drum, as she feels warm blood rushing into her ears...

and at this point, the writer decides to leave his workstation and bring himself back down to earth back down to his squalid workstation in a mouldy and dusty office.

--to wherest it came so it shall return.
to whom dis was dedicated to, i shall not forget.
the path is long and may you walk through it justly.

this were to be his final moments

the turn-coat
tiny beads of water turned to ink as the rolled down his umbrella
the noise of his surroundings muffled a silent coughing noise
his comrade in front of him hugs her body as her white evening gown turns a deep hue of velvet red.
the mole in the organization
he shed his blue uniform
he left it in the rain
blood-stained and rain-soaked
he scoffed at the ghastly sights of those whom he had murdered.
double the agent, double the glory
he reached into his beige pants and pulled out fine white powder, and inhaled it.
a momentary rush, as life around him seemed to slow down
a creak
in one fell swoop he withdrew his pistol, zeroed it, aimed it.
bang!
he was too slow..
he hesitated ..
this time it was his ebony cloak's turn to drip the faint smell of oxidising iron
from a pool of crimson nothing-ness

Knowledge
in this world of lawlessness
who is to judge of one's quality inferiority
our leaders ,the world's leaders gathered
swearing to instill in each of us the knowledge
to keep us going . To keep them going.
Hoping that in the masses of millions of people
there would be a handful of us capable to use this knowledge
for the betterment of the world ,for the betterment of mankind
who is to judge
progress ,downfall
each in it's own is but a ratio created in comparisson to our past.
One shot
wish for a better world
a dreamer
a sleeper
who is to judge of the difference

the very best

dark dreams engulfing
the spiral of hatred
reminisce of the times
the times of purgatory
the times of grief
the nights when death himself
seemed to stroke your skin with his
cold lifeless fingers
the nightmares
more and more of them
the valley of the shadow of death
the life within reach
slowly diminishing
your irises dilate
blood in your veins seem to slow down
you hear every sound and capture every beam of light
no more
no more she tells him
he walks away
no more pain
just this cold
dank
empty
four walls
that which he must face every day
and every night
no more
she told me..
and so i granted
the cool cement flooring never felt so scorching against his skin
i drift between the first and second person's perspective
just as much as my consciousness allows me.
crystal clear and highly viscous
a cool soothing feeling as it ran down my throat
then..
in an instance later
he could no longer breath
he was but another lifeless object within the walls of the cell
he once spoke to me that life was never the same without her
no he was no longer in possession of life itself..
just another lifeless object
just another perfect casualty.
i have grown weary of this endless struggles
my patience wears too thin
he snapped..
that's just life